Frying a turkey again

That's right my friends!

It is time again.

In a few weeks,

  Americans will be eating a whole bunch of turkey.

Some of us mix it with our love of fried food.

Don't be confused with the state fair food.

  This is not in the same category as a deep fried twinkie,

    and not to mention deep fried butter.

Last one makes your heart miss a beat.

  Admit it.

Back to the turkey.

It can go horribly wrong.

I am not talking about the taste of the bird.

There is a chance of both physical and property damage.

Think about it.

You are lowering a large bird into a pot of boiling oil.

Some know what they are doing.

First,

  make sure the bird is not frozen.

Frozen birds turn into flaming projectiles.

The boiling oil spills over,

  hits the burner,

   and next thing you know.

    the house,

     and not to mention the cook,

   are in flames.

Second,

  if your guests might be allergic to peanut oil,

   don't use it.

Anaphylactic shock is very depressing at a get-together.

This is why I use rice bran oil.

  Stuff won't even start smoking until it hits around 575 degrees.

Third,

  you should be in a sober state during the frying.

    Refer to the first warning.

Seriously,

 the bird comes out great.

It takes around three minutes a pound.

Besides,

  I have a fire department just down the street!

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

Funny, educational and light-hearted for this Turkey day in America. You should take Anthony Bordain's place, may he rest in peace. Thank you for sharing those tips even for the tipsy.

[Jon Roggie]

I am no where near that level. I still get irritated when someone asks for a crudites. It is a flipping vegetable patter.

[Sami Khalil]

Ah. Ok. You are welcome.

[Jon Roggie]

Don't get me wrong. Some of us got irritated when being called chef. Long story. Bordain was fantastic. He loved his work.

[Gee]

Lol, seems like you are prepared for all but a nuclear attack when frying the bird.
Not a big fan of Turkey always seems to be drier than a nuns pants whenever I've eaten it !!
Enjoyed the read Jon, hope all is well stateside

[Jon Roggie]

In case of nuclear attack, you fire the birds as a last resort. There are usually a few in the freezer.
As far as a dry bird, it doesn't happen. All the juice is sealed inside. Thanks for the read, and best to you as the day begins!

[Kelly Scheppers]

I'll stick to the conventional process of the oven, thank you. But if all else fails, stick a feather in a meatloaf and call it a day! Any one for some pumpkin pie? ; )

[Jon Roggie]

One of my nieces had never had a baked turkey until she was nine or ten. Brother would heat the oil around seven. Cook one for the wife, since she would be working at the hospital. One for the neighbor, he was a good guy. One for the people at the coffee shop, and that shouldn't need to be explained. Finally, a couple for the house, and you struggle to keep the birds intact until dinner!

[Kelly Scheppers]

Lol, that's the hardest part of all...NOT picking at it! I have three cats, and they're all underfoot, waiting for something to fall on the floor.

[Jon Roggie]

I learned from my brother. You start with the smallest turkey. Distract everyone until the main one is finished!

[Jon Roggie]

This year trying out a recipe for cheesecake. Don't worry. It will not be fried!

[Kelly Scheppers]

OMG, cheesecake is my weakness!

[Jon Roggie]

Two pounds of cream cheese, six eggs...
Cut into ten slices, looking at just under 700 calories a slice. Thinking smaller slices!

[Kelly Scheppers]

Lol, oh yeah! ; )

[Chris Shaw]

Oh the hazards of cooking your Thanksgiving turkey Jon. Lowering, into a pot of boiling oil? Wow, is that how you do it over there? I roast mine in the oven, covered in foil. Seems a safer option. Good job the fire dept's just down the street eh,? Keep safe and enjoy your turkey.

Chrid

[Jon Roggie]

This is a technique which seems to have escaped from the swamps. Caught on over the past few years. The nice thing is you can cook a 15 pound turkey in around 45 minutes. Most the time, you fry a few for friends before you finally cook your own!

[Chris Shaw]

Quick cooking eh? I'll play safe I think :)

[Jon Roggie]

I would offer to swing by to show how easy it is, but I doubt customs would understand what I was bringing along!

[Chris Shaw]

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