I have a bad habit

I will be honest.

Most of my words have a thirty second lead.

I catch slips on the side.

Putting it simply,

  I write.

The thing is it feels right.

The problem is you get bits and pieces.

This leads to those moments.

You have no clue,

 and to be honest neither do I.

The words fit.

At this point,

 I have a few decent writes,

   and a story.

I don't know what to do with the story.

It seems to grow.

Again,

 this feels right.

I have spent too many years trying  to control chaos.

  Work in a kitchen,

    and it becomes easy to understand.

I look at my words,

 and I see it.

Chaos.

Still,

 some of us are a little different.

My words are raindrops on the windshield,

 swept aside by the wipers,

  and still they collect on the bug,

   which you have to scrape away.

I settle for chaos.