Teamwork has produced an intriguing write – and reflects the subject matter – because working positively can make this a better world – nice piece! :-)
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Even though this one has grown older, I still like the way it worked. The early comments show the p.. read moreEven though this one has grown older, I still like the way it worked. The early comments show the progression.
Glad you liked it.
Lovely write and collaboration, be the change you want to see the world.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you. We can only try to change. If five people can randomly write, and off of three lines, w.. read moreThank you. We can only try to change. If five people can randomly write, and off of three lines, why can't more people work together?
Ah, fragmented hopes laying within a bubble of thoughts and ideas, all Im reading today is about dreams, looks like we have many here who know how to travel beyond the mind. If only a sink into such clouds could keep us from reaching back to Earth, but gravity humbles even the most greatest man. There is no doubt, we live outside of our true selves
Dreams are only a glimpse. Each of us can try, and fall into bitter failure. Still, you made the a.. read moreDreams are only a glimpse. Each of us can try, and fall into bitter failure. Still, you made the attempt.
Might work one of these times.
Thank you.
Nice take on this one.
7 Years Ago
The pleasure is mine. Will be reading around. Glad to find an adventurous mind.
Love your poetry!
I think this is my favourite line "and the better world seems a dream if we can make it there."
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
This one was fun.
I believe the line you liked was jacob erin-cilberto's. If you haven't a.. read moreThis one was fun.
I believe the line you liked was jacob erin-cilberto's. If you haven't already, look into his work.
I like how this one grew. It started with three lines, and next thing you knew it had five writers, and a few more words.
Underneath it all is a fire, a pyre for the liars in the mire... Just beyond reach, a hope-spangled beach... Wonderful work, and we should always be looking for ways to affect positive change... Nicely penned...
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you. I am sure the other four writers thank you as well.
7 Years Ago
I have read their writing, and you are all very talented, kudos again to all... My pleasure
Beautifully written. And well expressed. I believe in a way, its best we face reality but once we do, we must than work on seeing what can be done, to make reality more livable, and to help improve it as a whole.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
I still like how this one developed. I think the mix of voices adds to it. I don't think any of my.. read moreI still like how this one developed. I think the mix of voices adds to it. I don't think any of my co-writers are watching, so I will claim it was planned that way from the start.
7 Years Ago
Interesting. Well truly captivated me and I really enjoyed it.
I understand the logic and the need of the poem. Last lines I want too.
"I look for a way to change the world around me."
Thank you Jon for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
I realize you know the entire group on this one. I think all of us started with a somber mood. I w.. read moreI realize you know the entire group on this one. I think all of us started with a somber mood. I will admit I tried to add a touch of hope.
Thank you,
Jon, and hopefully from my fellow writers.
The final line is philosophical and true. We can indeed change the world around us, if only in our perceptions.. I like the ....'s -extending the 'nightmare' and the 'horror' into further realms This is complimented by 'the better world seems a dream if we can only make it there.'. all are a little out of reach. I enjoyed your poem.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
My fellow writers gave me a chance to play with their words. Started with three lines, and grew fro.. read moreMy fellow writers gave me a chance to play with their words. Started with three lines, and grew from there. Glad you liked it!
In a way, your collaboration is experimental, prepared in part here for folk to see. What an interesting process, what an intriguing and very worthwhile finish.
Won't select quotes, would be unfair, but some lines ring a bell so distinctly to your meter, albeit a loose one. You are all such fine poets, complimenting each other and yet, it seems, being true to your individual needs and thoughts
Our world is what it is - no thanks to Man. Tis a rushing river that sweeps its bed every inch of its winding course, debris full, darker than dark.. etc. as suggested said in your fine post.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
This was fun. The lines matched. Your lines would have mixed.