Apasionada 874

To be loved,

swaddled in fine linens

of lily, nectar, and lavender.

To be sought after,

to be caught in 

a teary embrace of joy, passion, and infatuation.

To be cared about,

Falling from cloud nine and into the eighteenth hole,

Aaaahhhh...

I've fought hard in this war of mind.

Mind in mine, finally - no fine for my time.

I've fought hell, ear, and air - water is my friend.

I've done my best,

fought my hardest, 

and vomited my worst.

I've felt euphoria and despair.

I've experienced angels and demons. 

And though I feel so much,

And though I am thinking so much muchness,

I only desire to be loved.

To let go and fall from heaven to earth,

to meet my partner in crime, my fellow enthusiast,

my lover, my accountability partner, and my connection to the God.

That is what I desire.

I am scared of the shadows,

even though I think in color.

What shall I say? 

What shall I do? 

Give me this heart oh God,

and lead me to You.

I trust you, even though I doubt.

I know you see my loneliness.

You spoke what you said to Jeremiah.

You will find her.

You deserve that much.