Formidable Foe

A retired military man is called back to action because of his special skills, there is a humorous twist to this one.

                          Formidable Foe

Lieutenant Mouser had successfully completed his tour of duty in the military over six months ago. The Lieutenant was somewhat surprised when he received a call at his office from his old commander, Major Denton.  He had to assume he was being called because he knew more about the insurgent’s recent activities than any man still on active duty. There were good men out there, but in his heart he knew he was best qualified; he had done this before!

The Major said on the phone that he had a "Special Assignment" for him, he said it could involve certain risks! Lieutenant Mouser shrugged the comment off, he knew he was still as able as ever, no matter what the assignment was. So he accepted the job.

As Mouser drove his heavily equipped vehicle to within two clicks of the old farmhouse, it looked peaceful enough he thought, but you could not be too careful. He continued slowly up the dirt road to the remnants of an old gate that once stood outside his targeted objective. He was prepared in full army garb, which consisted of headgear, vest, boots, gasmask and two extra pairs of clean socks. His commander was a stickler about having two extra pairs of clean white socks, he said something about spotting the enemy more easily with clean white socks. The Lieutenant laughed, but had no idea what the hell he meant by that. This always bothered the Lieutenant; he was after all, a retired combat soldier.

As he exited the vehicle, he withdrew his sidearm, a new chemical weapon that immobilized and killed almost immediately.  He advanced towards the side of the house. The Lieutenant did not like brandishing his weapon so quickly in a civilian area, but entering a non-secured area, as he always said, ‘you couldn’t be too careful.’ Cautiously pressed up close to the side of the house, he came to the side door. His eyes were constantly surveying the area for anything suspicious. Decomposing corpses were scattered everywhere, bodies that had probably been lying there for weeks. There were no visible signs of trauma to the bodies; it had to be gas, or a chemical agent that was used.

’It must have been one hell of a terrific battle here,’ he thought.

It was always the same in war, a total disregard for humanity. Soldiers left where they had fallen, sometimes in pieces, until it was over, then the cleanup and identification process began. Field reports said there was one civilian still living there, possibly a hostage in his own home. The Lieutenant had orders to secure him and the area. He tapped lightly on the door, but did not wait for an answer. How could he be sure that the civilian was not hiding in the basement, afraid to come out, or that the enemy was not waiting to ambush him once inside?

The latest intelligence reports also claimed that the last of the enemy have been destroyed over three weeks ago. However, he also knew how fast they could infiltrate, re-organize, and establish themselves once again. Experience had served him well; the Lieutenant was not taking any chances! They were better at tunneling or hiding than the Vietnamese were, especially in the soft dirt in the basements of these old farmhouses. As he pushed the door open, he quickly stepped to one side, half expecting the insurgents to be waiting there. It was clear, but he did not like the fact that he did not see any sign of the civilian as he entered.

Lieutenant Mouser hadn’t gotten ten feet inside, when a man; half crazed, and shouting, “in the kitchen sir, be careful!”
The man was obviously very frightened, there were welts covering his hands and arms. Mouser wondered what the enemy had done to him to cause such swelling and discoloration. This must have been the "Certain Risks" the Major mentioned. He knew from his reports that they were not above injecting small amounts of poison into a man’s body to cause great discomfort. He thought about the Nazi’s and the experiments they performed on the Jews in Germany.

”Shhhhh,” the Lieutenant quickly put his finger to his mouth to indicate for him to be quiet. The lieutenant knew he had just lost the element of surprise with the man’s outburst.

The man had appeared from his flank, he knew it was his weakest position. He would not make that mistake again. He immediately withdrew the immobilizing chemical spray from his weapons belt; he would be ready next time, he had gotten careless, but lucky.

He advised the man to remain calm, and very quietly whispered, “How many?”

”I’m not sure sir,” the man whispered back, trying to regain his composure, “but there was movement along the perimeter of the kitchen. I thought I was safe here, this was supposed to be a secured area! What’s wrong with you people?” His voice was louder then the Lieutenant would have preferred.

”We do the best we can, with the weapons we have at our disposal. Chemicals have made this a dirty war, and you can never be sure if you have killed the targeted enemy!” He was quite defensive and annoyed that his previous comrade’s thoroughness had been in question.

”Well that’s not good enough, I’ve paid the price for my security here!” he raised his voice this time.

The Lieutenant was losing his patience with the civilian. ”Listen, the insurgents want this position, they need it to advance to other strongholds in the area! We do our best to suppress their aggressive tactics.”

With that, the Lieutenant removed the top of the gas canister, his eyes aggressively fixed on the kitchen. There were doorways on either side of the hall leading to the kitchen. He knew he was disregarding procedure, the hostage should have been evacuated from the premises, and gas should have been used prior to his entering hostile conditions.

”Careful sir, I got a good look at the one in the kitchen, he looked mean, defiant; it’s as though he was daring someone to go in there. He may not be alone sir!” The man wondered if the company commander was wise in his decision to send a retired Lieutenant alone.

”Keep your voice down! I am fully trained and qualified on the movement, and tactics of the enemy!” he angrily assured the man as he prepared himself to face the insurgents.

The Lieutenant pulled the respirator mask down over his face, and entered the kitchen. There were four chairs and an old wooden table; on the table there were obvious signs that someone had eaten there, very recently! He slowly crouched down; beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. He knew what he had to do; he knew also, that the enemy was clever and sacrificial. Self-sacrifice meant nothing at all to them.

He withdrew a magnifying glass from his utility belt to establish the insurgent’s exact position; and there it was! Hiding just behind a pea left inadvertently lying on the kitchen floor, was the enemy, a flea! The flea had concealed himself perfectly in the crevice between the floorboards, just behind the pea. They were true artisans in camouflage.

The Lieutenant immediately began his attack; it was swift, concise and without mercy. He dared not let it escape, over and over again; he laid a heavy blanket bombing on the infested area. He had used nearly half a can of Raid, it may have been over kill, but he was not taking any chances this time. He knew from past encounters that allowing just one escapee could mean a total re-infestation; he was not about to make the same mistake his comrades may have made during their engagement with the enemy.

As the Lieutenant looked down he noticed one of the enemy stuck on his white sock, evidently trying to make good an escape. He remembered then what the Major had told him earlier about spotting the enemy more easily. The Major was right he thought, as a grin swept across his face.

When it was over, and the air cleared, he got the war estimates prepared for his report. Two dead, no survivors and no MIA’s; none he could be sure of that is; the report noted.

”That should do it sir,” the Lieutenant said, “I feel confident the enemy has been destroyed this time.” He handed the man the causality report he had just completed. Mouser carefully folded the report, not wanting to disclose its contents prematurely; it was a bill for services rendered by Acme Pest Control.

The man thanked the Lieutenant, and told him to be sure to thank the Major for recommending him for the job. 

”At your service sir,” the retired Lieutenant said, as he left the house.

skIP Ulinski