From the Soul

My heart is aching, my soul needs to speak!

Allow me to show you who I am:

(I am writing this because I am very uncomfortable to write it, hence, I am pulling myself way out of my comfort zone and going above and beyond; this is a first) ... I'm not normal, in respects of your typical, everyday individuality. I'm crazy, wild, spontaneous, emotional, zealous, extremely sensual and pragmatic. I am childish, strong and weak, aligned in bonded balance. I am just and evened out in all of the ways that I am not naturally balanced in, or I simply hope, see and dream it to be so. I am a die-hard romantic, hopeless, at that. An idealist, a perfectionist. My goal is to achieve everything, for something with meaning. I do not do anything if there is no meaning to it. Should I ever commit to anything, it is because I believe, see, or more importantly to me, feel it as the right direction for myself. I base my life from intuition, not logic; I do not know what right or wrong is, I can only answer for myself and the experiences and spiritual accordance I am in with my Source, Energy, Life. To be with me is to know my world, and to lose yours; or, to gain more insight into your own but be opened to more, through mine. I am an animal of many sorts; I am a fish, because of my natural behavior and emotional, yet, animalistic expressions. The trends of my cyclical life are the same of a tropical fish, with similar ties to a deep oceanic creature that nobody has ever seen, but are frightfully pushed and pulled to find out, figure out, and experience. I'm not who you think I am; mystery is my essence. I am the Moon. For the Moon is the reflection of the Sun, hence, the Moon does not emit light of its own, simply reflect the rays of the life through it, in the deepest and most emotional aspects of spiritual and hidden existence. To know my kind, is to spend a lifetime following me due to my free thinking, free willing and sacrificing persona. I am not a follower; however, I lead in/with that/That which/Whom I believe in with heart and passion, yet still, follow not because of the individuality characteristics and personal responsibility for my own actions and words. I cannot punish anyone, because I know that I am not perfect, only perfectly disguised as the perfect spirit of imperfection of its own illusion. I know what is bad and what is good; that is not to confuse with Wright or wrong, they are mere illusions to our human deception to the contrary: there is more than we could ever see/feel/imagine/dream-of. If you follow me, be prepared to experience everything that you could have ever dreamed of but were afraid to, because of possible negative consequences, and know that you may also get in too deep with me because for all that is High, there is also Low. The Great Balance is the essence of all that keeps this life, world and Universe (and beyond) going/moving/ticking. Anyone who is attracted to me, usually exudes a great amount of energy and purpose; purpose in the sense of [anything that has meaning to it] with the hint of danger to the twang; ... -> In a personal sense, know me and you will see things beyond this world, this is a conviction to the understanding but more importantly, to the experience of the very characteristics I am explaining. If you dare to be attached to me, realize that I will never give you peace, but will always [want/demand] more from you (in a positive sense) than you could ever possibly experience in a solo-world, because I know you are capable of it; therefore, I am attempting to free your senses, feelings and emotions out into the spiritual aura of the ever-living stream of energy that pours itself into us on a constant basis of the natural makeup that you are. With the perception of the intuitive gift, the flow of energy effects me deeply; please understand that I am capable of picking up senses of any and all moods and feelings, although, being a mutable character of the Pisces fish and then illuminated by the heightened light of the Full Moon during the night, the sensual perception I was blessed with also grants me the opportunity to see deeply into a person's true being while their sunny side is asleep, hence the very reason why I fundamentally allow only a handful of trusted souls into my life, because I am able to sense the emotional particles of being. I am complicated, puzzled and intrigued by anything and everything I come in contact with or that I am blessed to experience. Everything has meaning to it. The first time you made love, and the last time you felt the highest-lowest point of love-making, are the very points of Ecstasy in my life. Everything has purpose; therefore, it is worth pursuing and experiencing. There is nothing too low, nor too fruitless or worthless. Everything here, there, everywhere has an emotional and challenging goal to it, but it is the challenge that drives us. The deeper the challenge (even if the challenge is deeply rooted into someone) the longer the journey/adventure. These adventures and stories are not controlled by us, nor by our attempt to extend/shorten them, no. These very stories are embedded into us as our personal Books, which we only hope to gain the interest and inspire [Someone] to pick up the book and continue in Awe! To read and gain further enjoyment out of! The deeper the rabbit hole, the deeper the connection.

[Thought-pause]

... For the one I enchant and capture, will be mine for always; I could only hope to gain the same level of love and respect in return. Be with me, and you're soaring High. Experience the joys of the unknown and live on the edge, but also be prepared to experience times of pure voids, boredom or uncertainty. What goes up must come down. Plan ahead to tune out many nights, days and mornings from your daily schedules because we will be making love and sharing each other in the physical and philosophical, emotional worlds. We are not alone. The forces That Be are in total control of our influences. Love, is the compilation of all that I see as it is. Love drives me and inspires me. The white, to the black. Mystery of constantly evolving is in my fingertips, continuously reaching further for the next challenge, always growing, experiencing. (Making love to you three times, then resting ... experiencing and soaking you in, allows me to be inspired by new ventures, receiving and translating newer interpretations of you, therefore inspiring new feelings of passion toward you, hence, making love to you again and again and again ... keep it free, keep it moving, progress, grow...) Understand that my view of a relationship is far more than the common view; the purpose of being together/as-one is to be alive; to experience life at it’s fullest. Sharing each other’s complements and imperfections as accents to the other's voids. For that which I seek, your bliss fulfills me. I am, therefore if I share myself with you, you flow into my ocean of glowing magic, filling me further with that which I could not have possibly seen lacking. Know that being as One, is to be Together, Fully. The basic mutuality and fusion of two souls is just like a kiss: sharing of each others' souls. Please understand that it is the gain of everything, and the leaving-behind of nothing. To become One is to sacrifice nothing, only to believe and understand that Everything is being gained, and the past was a life of personal adventures, searches and experiments which lead to the current Being as one, finally joining lives with the one you're destined to merge with.

[Restless Interlude]

Who am I: Socially unacceptable, politically incorrect, renegade, lawless, free-thinking, a Heretic? Bound by no one, but our Creator! Accidentally conceived but given strength, meaning and purpose beyond human composition and comprehension to Be as is. To inspire and bring-forth love to all that wish it, lack it and ask for it! To be weak, is to receive; for when I see weak, I willingly give. For when I am strong in my own, flawed and idiotic, prideful methods, I lose everything. Lock the doors to the heart, and your heart will lock itself to all that is out there; you will not feel/see, nor be opened to receive the blessings and enlightenment of that which gives you life! If you're still reading this, you just might be interested, please continue ...

I will give without end, foolishly be a martyr (to a point), not knowing the difference between love and death, yet still deadly-alive enough to compose the blunt truth to be perceptive and vulnerable, but allow for Love to touch me, drive me. The very essence of sensual feelings, knowing that I am loved, seeing with actions as hopeless proof, but more so, feeling, knowing that it's real, is my purpose and strength in this life. That is the truth you will know about me. Being loved is to live. God is Love. Love is God. When you hold me, squeeze me, pull me into you, embrace and cherish me, it is then that I feel the magnetic presence of belonging and purpose. It is our individual effort to come to realization to such terms, but it’s above us to accept and present the same case to the one, whom we tell it to, in hopes that we could only gain their love in return. Like good food, love cannot be rushed, nor could it be falsified, for the final taste will bring out the flavors and overall satisfaction; much like a perfect wine to accompany the dish in its natural spirits. To accent and add-to the melodious symphony of experience, rather than mask the tannins of the earthy but supernatural reasons behind its composition.

Be with me, and life will be uncertain, but could also be the experience of life, pack-full of joy, meaning and purpose as it pertains to our individuality. The road is unknown, unplowed, isolated, leading into the woods of uncharted territories and blind barriers; know it but believe that being one, is being Complete. All fears are charred; all doubts are realized and accepted, gained and learned from, to strengthen our knowledge and to reinforce our offense. [Make a Change], be someone, make something out of nothing; spin gold out of straw, take a chance, live!!! What's to lose?!? Come with me, and we'll find places never heard of; realize that there is more to life than the boundaries set by man to control us, contain our thoughts and enslave us by all of the social means proposed. Financially free to be free. Live to make that which we need, be all that we are created as. Require and ask for only that is necessary, while seeing and living, feeling and experiencing everything that is behind the barriers of man-made construction! Just Be! Never change yourself; never compromise your true love, beliefs or character for anyone! Be you, allow your [someone] to become acquainted with your true self, let them love you for all that you are, for if they love themselves as is, they then can only accept you as such; otherwise, they continue to search for themselves in you, blindly focusing on these perceptions as their final goals to feel completed, only to realize later that their wholeness is not their own, but belongs to someone else; should that ever happen, any distant separation creates isolation and loss of life. Be yourself! Be free! Be you! Just Be! Love yourself; love your body and soul! Love yourself as you are, and allow only the good to touch you and give, add to your purpose.

Get in touch with your roots and know where you came from, which field, which crop, the type and sort. Knowing so, will allow you to accept yourself as is without the endless needs to search for yourself blindly for that which you already know, but only needed a slight reminder of. Just Be.

[This letter can go on endlessly ...]

Who am I? One could never know, but only come to agreement to accept oneself once we are settled into the comforts of our boundaries and conform to never again allow anything new to creep or surprise us. To be safe, and grow in one spot, possibly rot. What happens if rain no longer visits our fields? Do we wither and die? Or do we risk the possibility of uncertainty and span past the fields of imaginations but allow us to grow and expand, feel more and be alive!? What good is life is life is not good? What purpose does it have, why suffer if barely anything good has been felt, achieved or lived for? Life is once, and its good, it should be. We all owe ourselves to live as best a life as we could possibly desire with the most obvious of choices resulting in a decent proposal valued of all that we dream of, consisting of everything we dream and fantasize of! There are one million ways to make love ... each one will be different ... imagine, taste it, live it...

Reviews

[Taylor H.]

this is really good! Especially since you pulled out of your comfort zone. Great job!

[Dressed in Poetry]

I really like this piece, but I had a lot of trouble getting through the big chunks (the first long paragraph filled up my entire screen, which looked daunting). I think separating them into small pieces will definitely help with the aesthetics.

The writing and the words were amazing though. I am an actress, and I found myself picturing this as a monologue and seeing how it could be staged and what the body language of the actor would be, etc. in my head, which is a great thing. Whenever that happens, it means there is a definite image, which is a product of great writing.

[deeps]

I must say one word here "WOW!" I am really spell bound by this write.
I hurt inside as well as feel as whole if that makes sense to you.
I found this really quite intriguing and enlightened by the experiences in this.