I think I love you

This is what I want to say, but it can’t be

Because I already tell you that

You say the call and I respond

“I love you”

“I love you too”

But when the feeling behind the words change what to do

I freeze

I go back to where it’s safe

It’s not middle school

I can’t say I love-love you

Nor would I be able to

When I say I love I mean it in a new way

A deeper way

A long to touch way

A hold each other all night and see your face in the morning way

But I can’t say that

Not to you, my best friend

Who would be my best friend then?

 And if you don’t love-love me back

or you do but we don’t connect well that way?

Am I destine to be alone I say at 22 with many years ahead.

But who would want to be with someone who is a crack-addict for someone not their partner

I don’t want to lose touching you so I won’t say that middle school s**t

But I’ll feel it every time we touch

And your hand gets a little too close

I’ll want to sleep with you again every time we part

And come for my fix of cuddles each week

Forever