"So this is what happened, okay?" Ori had been trying to explain what went on the night before for at least an hour now. "I woke up in the back seat and didn't have a clue where the other guys went."
"Wait," Herald interrupted, "you said you were in a field, right?"
"Yeah, in the back seat of my brother's car, sitting in the middle of a HUGE freakin' field. The guys were gone, and there were cows all over the place."
"Cows?"
"Everywhere!"
"Wow."
"Shut up and listen for a sec. So I get out and yell for Elri. I didn't get any response, so I started walking. Here I am walking along shouting for Elri and Jeff out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cows, and freezing my nuts off. Then I see the bull. One lone bull."
"What's wrong with one bull?"
"Think about that, dude. One bull, countless cows. He's got a lot of work on his hands, doesn't he?"
"Okay, you're gross."
"Shut up and stop interrupting me. So here's this bull. Then here's me. Two tons of solid muscle, hooves, and horns versus one hundred and eleven pounds of half drunk wimp. Screwed, much?"
"Oh yeah."
"What do I do? Duh. I run. So here I go, taking off full blast. And here's the beast right on my butt. I'm going full speed, and losing my breath fast. Just when I should have gotten a horn shoved up to my colon, I hear Elri scream bloody friggin' murder."
"Ah, so you found your brother."
"He found me. And the cow he was riding--"
"Cow he was riding?"
"Didn't I say to shut up? Let me finish. It all comes together, I swear. So the cow has some like..spikes strapped to her head. She's coming hard at him and rams the bull, causing him to kinda...die right there."
"A cow saved your life?"
"Crazy, huh? So then Jeff climbs down from the tree he'd been hiding in and we all built a fire. Jeff cut the bull up, we cooked him, and made us some steaks."
"How did your cow friends feel about you eating one of their kind?"
"They ordered medium-rare."
"Oh, wow."
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