Rain

Inspired by spoken word artist Andrea Gibson, "Photograph".

Listening to the raindrops

Falling gently to the ground

I close my eyes

Feeling serene

I want to be successful

To make all of my dreams come true

To not fail what I want

Believe in myself

My eyes are slowing closing 

Soothing by the sound of the rain

It's a cloudy, rainy day

Don't ever give up

I wish I can stop time

Stop the world

Stop the bad things happening

Just for a minute, hour, day, or year

Stop the time

And forget about everything bad

Forget that you ran away

Or never called me

When I needed you the most

Forget it 

And come back

To me

My eyes watered when you left

You didn't leave me a letter

Or let me know how you are

Or what you're doing

We were different time zones away

Across the world

Millions of miles away

I wish there was a way

I could reach you

Or call you

Forget about all that

Come

Come back to me

You look beautiful

Like on a dewy morning in a field full of sun-kissed tulips

The last night before you left

I kissed you and told you I will always love you

Do you remember

Do you remember that I told you?

The next morning

You left 

Slipping through my fingers

Like a breath of cold air

Disappearing without a trace

Here I am

Listening to the rhythmic drumming of raindrops

Falling on the roof

Stopping time

Stop the world

Here I am, with you

Standing next to you

Breathing in the scent of you

I still remember the scent 

The day you left

It lingers

The world stopped 

I felt as if someone pushed the pause button

Standing here, next to you

Seemed like forever

You've finally come back to me

I'm not going to lose you

Stopping time

This moment can last forever

I'm standing next to you

Not wanting time to go by

I wish you never left

I wish you wished on shooting stars

And will find a way to come back home

I hope you're happy

I hope you don't have any pain or sorrow

I hope you found a way to live again

I hope you found a way to enjoy the small things in life

I hope you're happy

I hope the stars are lining up in the universe

And the sun is shining where ever you are

I hope you can come back to me

Where I'll be waiting for you

With open arms

I hope everything is okay

Where you are

I really, really hope so

From the bottom of my heart. 

Author's Note

Please leave comments or reviews on how I could improve my writing. It would be greatly appreciated!

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

What an intimate narrative, I was definitely taken by the emotional aspect of the writing which to me also imbued the nature elements which are strngly described throughout. As I got to the ending I felt it was one of those hopeful writings were things have the possibility and the space to end well pending on actions of course. Yet even when that it is all said and done I thought that the melancholy given was stronger than any of those other elements. As if you had decided to take full responsibility of he way this unfolded and decided to make it your cross. That confused me a little bit. The other aspect which I can't come to terms with only based on thematical issues is how about if she doesn't want to be with you? Isn't that part of loving someone as well? So if the appreciation is so strong why isn't that possibility given? Purely on delivey maybe it is precisely this which left me with doubts that one could make clear as a story were the linear sequence would favour the descriptive style.

All of course only suggestions as you are the sole architect and decide what may.

Thankyou for the invite!

[kublakhan27]

I felt this one deep in my bones...it almost mirrors all the sentiments and memories that cross my mind on a rainy day, and we just happened to have one here...I've heard of this writer but I'm not sure I've come across any of her work...your piece definitely lends itself perfectly to a spoken voice though...I related to many of your story's elements as well...it made me think of people in my own life, and how similar your plight sounds to mine...it almost sounds like it was written about me...awesome work :)

[J Schwenk]

I'm glad you could convey the emotions in this piece! That's what I was trying to get across. Check out Andrea Gibson, her work is very deep and incredible. I think this work relates to many other people as well. That's good to hear that it almost sounds like it's written about you! Thank you for your kind words!

[Matching Socks]

Such a sad poem but it is so beautifully written, the reader feels every word, every motion.
Lovely.

[J Schwenk]

Thank you! That was my goal, to make the reader feel what is going on in the writing, as Gibson did with her spoken word work "Photograph." I recommend to check out her work!

[Matching Socks]

You're welcome. :)
I will.

[J Schwenk]

One question, I have a problem uploading a new piece of writing on this website. Every time I upload, it kept saying "Error 101" but won't tell me what the problem is. I tried uploading it many times and no such luck. I also can't view messages from my contacts on here. Have you ever had the same problem?

[J Schwenk]

One question, I have a problem uploading a new piece of writing on this website. Every time I upload, it kept saying "Error 101" but won't tell me what the problem is. I tried uploading it many times and no such luck. I also can't view messages from my contacts on here. Have you ever had the same problem?

[J Schwenk]

One question, I have a problem uploading a new piece of writing on this website. Every time I upload, it kept saying "Error 101" but won't tell me what the problem is. I tried uploading it many times and no such luck. I also can't view messages from my contacts on here. Have you ever had the same problem?

[J Schwenk]

One question, I have a problem uploading a new piece of writing on this website. Every time I upload, it kept saying "Error 101" but won't tell me what the problem is. I tried uploading it many times and no such luck. I also can't view messages from my contacts on here. Have you ever had the same problem?

[J Schwenk]

One question, I have a problem uploading a new piece of writing on this website. Every time I upload, it kept saying "Error 101" but won't tell me what the problem is. I tried uploading it many times and no such luck. I also can't view messages from my contacts on here. Have you ever had the same problem?

[Matching Socks]

No, I haven't. Are you on a mobile perhaps?

[J Schwenk]

Sorry I didn't mean to post it so many times! No, I'm on my laptop. No one has had this problem before?

[Matching Socks]

Don't really know? Not heard it. :)

[Lyan]

Sad poem.unfortunately how it ended but there's always the silver lining somewhere.time heals wounds.

[J Schwenk]

Thank you for your thoughts! i agree, there is always a silver lining somewhere, sometimes it takes longer for it to appear.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

This is a bittersweet poem, I can relate to the feeling of some of this. It is hard to let go sometimes and it is hard to forget or at least move on, but with the passing of time it does get a little bit easier, especially when meeting new people and such. I loved how you used the rain, the person listened to its rhythm while thinking back, wishing and hoping for the best to come out of life. "Like on a dewy morning in a field full of sun-kissed tulips," this has a nice and peaceful feel to it, I love this line.

Good Job

[J Schwenk]

Thank you, this is just a poem I made up, inspired by "Photograph." I wrote this piece 3 years ago, and I agree; over time it does it easier. The best is always yet to come, it just takes time. Thank you, that line is my favorite, too!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

You're welcome, and what's Photograph, I haven't heard of it xD Well you did a good job writing it and I agree, just waiting can be hard at times lol

[J Schwenk]

Photograph is a piece that Gibson wrote based on loss. Here is the link if you're interested: http://ohandreagibson.tumblr.com/photograph Thank you again for your kind words!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

Thanks, I think I like yours better xD but I didn't really finish the other one, but from what I read I like yours better lol and you're welcome

[J Schwenk]

Thank you so much for that huge compliment! :) That made my day.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

lol You're welcome and it's the truth, I think I could see better images within yours xD maybe it's that sun-kissed tulips part, I loved taking pictures of tulip fields and it gave me a pretty image in my head lol

[J Schwenk]

I do tend to write a lot of imagery and paint the picture in my head, I think that's part of being a writer. I sent you a message on here, have you by any chance received it?

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

lol yeah I try to do the same, I love reading stuff with lots of imagery that paints a picture in my mind and yes I have xD I forgot to send something back