The Ability

A poem that basically describes concept of love and relations

 

The Ability 

           She screams silently, body uncomfortable and semi-fetal,

           Silent screams from the factory of despair that is her life, 

 Clutching her chest to see if her heart had survived it's latest hurricane;

How hard it must have been for one organ to work double shifts

never mind having to pump blood and maintain the function of life,

but having to juggle that with self rejuvenating after every piercing blow...... 

she just didn't know that he lacked the ability, 

The ability to paint his every action with altruism,  

The ability to focus his lens on one image,

The ability to feel a pain not spoken of,

The ability to love unconditionally...

For her, the thought of finding a love that doesn't fluctuate,

that must be great, she reached for his heart and touched his face,

but drew blanks, and how you wish he would tell you thanks, 

for a love with enormous longevity, 

but then Sir reality reminds you that he lacks The Ability. 

  

 

            

           

Author's Note

I welcome all critiques guys... and I hope at least one word resonates with someone.

Reviews

[shallimarRose]

This is an nteresting piece , I enjoy your playing with words... I see a couple lying in bed.. she has her back turned to him in a fetel position as she reconstructs their life in her mind... His love never really completely hers perhaps... I found this last bit very strong.. "she reached for his heart and touched his face but drew blanks, and how you wish he would tell you thanks, for a love with enormous longevity,
but then Sir reality reminds you that he lacks The Ability. Great feel in this..

[Samoda]

Thank you!!! I'm glad you saw it the way I intended

[shallimarRose]

youre most welcome..

[TL Boehm]

I have heard that women desire love, men desire respect. If we want love we have to give respect and vice versa, and that is why it gets complex between the sexes.
Well penned.

[Rachelle]

Venus vs. Mars. Mars vs. Venus.
Beyond the physical and the sensual lies the emotional. Expressions of love and affection vary amongst people and more so amongst men and women. A socio-cultural product or something deeply ingrained in the DNA as a product of evolution? One can only surmise.
Expressions vary so don't expect a mirrored reciprocation in toto. It's a Mars and Venus thing.

[A. Amos]

Simply splendid, enjoyed the read and thanks for sharing

[Violet's Run]

well, It resonated with me because I know this guy. He is my boyfriend. This poem is excellent is is
well crafted good usage of images, good pace. in fact this reminds me of the rhythm i use in my own
poetry.. so it was easy to get into it. the ability is a winner and people should take the time to read you because you are a great poet.

[Samoda]

Thank you very much! such kind words.. appreciate it

[Twizzler]

Very well written, I like this a lot. Your use of description paints her emotions amazingly. I can feel her pain and frustration in this piece.

[Samoda]

thank you, i was hoping it would inflict strong emotions to the reader

[Cara]

wow, this was really amazing, the thoughts that it holds are so deep,and it is true sometimes too
really amazing write, thank you for sharing

[Samoda]

thanks Cara

[❤ Maggie ❤..]

I really like that poem, a lot!! Poems that really describe the emotions and feelings are always best, and this one did it perfectly :) Well done with this one

[Samoda]

thanks, glad you liked it :)

[Dominique]

This does resonate with me. It brought back memories to me of what is in the past. Which is hard for a good poem to do. Although, I have to say it was deterring to have you switch from two perspectives in the middle of a line. Also, other than your spelling mistake (great, not grate. I don't think she is referring to grating cheese.) It was a beautiful poem.

[Samoda]

Thank you, i tend to do that from time to time, appreciate it :)

[Dominique]

You're welcome. I do it from time to time too.

[Karen]

Interesting poem. I like the way it presents a picture in readers' minds that shifts from visual to emotional. The repetition of "the ability" is somewhat redundant but justifiable considering the title of the piece. The content is sad, to love someone who doesn't know how to express it or reciprocate it in the same way is sad, and there is no happy ending, which is usually the case. One must either break away or be content with one's lot in life.

[Samoda]

you got it... thank you, i appreciate it!