To them it was not love For love was only a four letter word. No no, only a never ending utterance could possibly describe their magical synchronization In each of their eyes was the other's.
The evil twins; Time and Distance must have laughed for days at their future plans. Life swooped him off to strange lands and sadness found her an all too easy target
now she lays by the phone breathing as loudly as possible to distract her mind, messages have become so seldom their more like postcards, a 'merry Christmas Hun' is now a smile face, a wink is a happy birthday, did she selfishly keep all the love she wonders...
so in her grief she stands, watching times mocking hands. cold and alone, no one to hold loving herself on her own the first owner of a post office phone.
I certainly feel the isolation, the separation and the loneliness. And then the realisation that distance does not make the heart grow fonder. So sad.
A well crafted poem.
Two minor points:3rd Stanza ... their more like postcards...= they're more ...
4th verse... times mocking hands (love this phrase !)...= time's.
As a Brit and an old Brit as well ... I do not fully understand the significance of the very last line.... please enlighten me.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
yea sure... i was making the point earlier that his text messages became so rare that they were more.. read moreyea sure... i was making the point earlier that his text messages became so rare that they were more like postcards, and thats why i said she owns a post office phone because it takes her quite some time to hear from him... so its like a liitle back in time when people had to wait quite to hear from their loved ones overseas reincarnated...
hope that makes a bit more sense
The reality in this post-post-modern world where civilization demands and expands in a world ever-growing flatter to seek options beyond one's shores and the only tangible source of comfort to a loved one is indeed a word or two in a screen.
Heart break is always painful but never more hurtful than when it’s hidden from one another. You did a great job reveiling this piece one layer at a time.
I think the last line is my favorite. I really, really love this piece. You do a really great job of making the reader feel for the subject of the poem. My heart definitely went out to her. Nice work!
There is a great deal of depth in this work, also much scope for interpretation. Both are traits of a great work. I love the word Synchronization, very well chosen. Great work
Wow, this poem is great! It has an extremely smooth flow and I can definitely feel the longing and distance that is being described. Its not overdone, I think this is just extremely well-written! I had to just read it multiple times. Great work!
Pure perfection! I loved the way you could feel the sadness and isolation from her loved one. And I loved how you used the old fashioned postcards reference. Wonderful work!
I certainly feel the isolation, the separation and the loneliness. And then the realisation that distance does not make the heart grow fonder. So sad.
A well crafted poem.
Two minor points:3rd Stanza ... their more like postcards...= they're more ...
4th verse... times mocking hands (love this phrase !)...= time's.
As a Brit and an old Brit as well ... I do not fully understand the significance of the very last line.... please enlighten me.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
yea sure... i was making the point earlier that his text messages became so rare that they were more.. read moreyea sure... i was making the point earlier that his text messages became so rare that they were more like postcards, and thats why i said she owns a post office phone because it takes her quite some time to hear from him... so its like a liitle back in time when people had to wait quite to hear from their loved ones overseas reincarnated...
hope that makes a bit more sense
Very well written and a marvelous summation of the increased brevity of communications in the digital word. I especially enjoyed your phraseology. A true delight to read a poet who can deliver a well rounded poem that is both relevant and powerful
I am but a simple young man who just likes serenity. all i ask is honesty towards my poems. I get a good feeling when i feel like structure words properly and paint my thoughts.. and that feeling is s.. more..