Wonder woman

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Wonder woman

It was no first glance across the ball room floor,
No movie theatrics; for those moments are caressed with music and
Perfect lighting with a directors touch.
Our first meeting vague and dark literally as midnight showed earth
It’s nakedness.
No love at first sight for I was left mesmerized by the way your hair
Was obedient to your shoulders, the tiny oval shining in your eyes,
Lips I imagined to be as soft as the inside of that silky smooth dress
Painted unto your by those delicate fingers. For you it was just some guy
You passed on the way to getting home.
So you linger in my mind and pictures will always flash
And one day will I regret not taking the leap?
Oh how I wonder woman….

Reviews

[Verser]

Of the group, I liked this one best. The first part of the poem is about what she wasn't, and the second part is about she was, at least through your eyes--in a pretty clever way ("Lips I imagined to be as soft..."). Turns out, you never even "met" her at all. The play on Wonder Woman and how the phrase is used at the end is delightful. The imagery here, the detail, is strong. I would try to stick with this technique and this style. Maybe it is your voice.

[Samoda]

thank you very much!

[Violet's Run]

This is such a strong poem in so many ways. First of all it is lovely to the eyes and ears. It is almost as silky smooth as the woman in question. ]
" Lips I imagined to be as soft as the inside of that silky smooth dress"
Bravo I love a poem that is rich in images, word play and texture used intelligently and with purpose.
great write

[Samoda]

Thank you very much Susan, I'm glad it resonated with you!

[InsanityWriter]

This is lovely. (: Great job, once again! ;)

[Samoda]

thank you:)

[CecilA]

jsamz99,

Well jsamz99, your simplistic persona creates sophisticated verse. I really love this "Wonder Woman" poem. I can place myself in the skin of this guy and feel his emotions.

"It was no first glance across the ballroom floor." drew me in. Nice opening line.

Your bio intrigues me. I especially appreciate: "paint my thoughts" and "dwell in the outer realms of my mind"; not original but never-the-less revealing about your soul and creativity.

I recommend that you rewrite while reading your poem aloud. That will reveal any weaknesses and grammar issues. It reads well, has a good sound and it's believable. I'd like to read it when you're finished.

Thank you for sharing your poem with us. Good job.

Sincerely,

Cecil

[Libby Carsons]

I like the short flash of experience described here and your description of this insignificant pass by, made into something so important. I can feel the time duration of this small moment expanded into hours, days and years of wonder. Great job!

[Samoda]

well said, thank you:)

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the journey in this poem. Woman open doors to thoughts and wonder. I like the complete poem. A very good ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Samoda]

thanks man!

[Bound In Red]

I would have to say that this is also my favorite of your poems. And this is the best formatting you have used. Now on to the review. I loved the detail through out the whole piece. The beginning pointed out exactly what did not happen, showing that love at first sight is overdramatized in the movies. But with the second part, you painted the picture of what impression she did leave you with. But, love at first sight did happen for you. So in the end, I hope you get to see her again. And take that leap. 20 seconds of bravery can get you places.

[Samoda]

we'll see.. thank you:)

[Bound In Red]

Welcome. :)

[Serenity Faith]

Oh I loved this! Love at first sight, can almost seem like a movie...and i think there are many a people that wished they had said or done something differently when it comes to matters of the heart. But...since she left such an impression, I'm sure she'll pass your way again someday, fate is a funny thing ^_~ at that time show her this, she's sure to fallin love

[Samoda]

:) thanks, maybe i will...

[dominiqueperry]

I really loved it

[Samoda]

thank you:)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

Good, very good.. all except for this line: "Painted unto your by those delicate fingers." Nonsense. Rewrite. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Reapply in the dark of the next new moon.

[Samoda]

thank you for pointing that out:) i'm here to learn...

[Dani Eiri]

Awh! I really like this poem. There is much detailing and at first I thought he was going to approach the girl, until I reached the near middle of the poem. Then I began to wonder if it was all just a part of his imagination. Either way, this poem has me thinking . . .
And I really love the last line "Oh how I wonder woman...."
It's creative. This poem is very nice.

[Samoda]

thank you:)

[Dani Eiri]

You are very welcome!