Ye Speaker of Speedith Word

When two OLD school rappers battle for a woman's love...

Ye Speaker of Speedith Word

 

Magneseius: Oh Bellchar the Beautiful! Hath blockith out ye haters with le eyes of le Llamahawk!

 

Ernesto: Fool! Madam Bellchar seeth foes of beauty not! Tis notith seeth thou!

 

Bellchar: Men! Thee must stop thy quarrel. Forth me hath taken upon a ring from the flower tis blooms at the sight of beauty.

 

Magneseius: Thou art married?

 

Bellchar: Yes. Me doth beith marry Jamingo Ramirez. Forth he rapith with le speed of le Canadian cockroach.

 

Ernesto: No man speakith faster than I in words o’ rhymith!

 

Bellchar: Goodbye fools.

 

Magneseius and Ernesto sadly return to thy dwellings. However the next day thy both receive knoos that Jamingo has been killed in a guild fight. Guild violence has long plagued the town of San Homie. Magneseius and Ernesto see there chance to marry Bellchar.

 

Ernesto: Ah, Bellchar me tis saddened by le death of ye noble rapper Jamingo, butith me hath rappith even faster than thy Yodeling Yeti!

 

Magneseius: Speakith lies not foe! Thou rappith not eveth faster than le Mexican Flying Sloth!

 

Ernesto: I seeth thy mouth moving butith hear nothing for me not hearith le words of pigs!

 

Bellchar: To deal with ye all after le death o’ Jamingo beith unbearable!

 

Bellchar returns to her house to get away from ye Ernesto and Magneseius. However Magneseius and Ernesto refuse to give up and each begin writing a poem to win Bellchar’s love.

 

Ernesto: O’ Bellchar the Beautiful I hear thee on le balcony. Listen to my words of love and ye shall fall for me.

 

Bellchar: Go ahead, butith do not expect much.

 

Ernesto: O’ Bellchar! Hath thee havith eyes of a slender roach! Ye legs remindith the world of thy legs o’ thy grazzhopper! How thee beith as bumble as a bee! Ye tis-

 

Bellchar: Stopith now before my ears bleed! Leavith now!

 

Magneseius: Oh Bellchar-

 

Bellchar: Stopith now! Hear thy poems not I! Rapith be the calling o’ my heart! Butith me mustith marry soon. O’ hath thee Ernesto and Magneseius hath a battle of rapith! Tomorrowith at dawn, for when thy sun rises above our eyes le freestyle rapith battlith shall begin!

 

Ernesto and Magneseius began practicing for le battle o’ rapith the next day. Finally the time came to battle for Bellchar’s love.

 

Bellchar: Ah me seeth le sunith risith Ernesto thy hath goith firstith rapith of anything.

 

Ernesto: Yo violins lets get a beat going!

Violins begin playing

Yo thuggin in thy streets at night!

Ya know me always lookin for a fight!

Shillings falling out o’ my pocket!

24k golden lockets!

riding in a bugey cuz that’s how I roll!

cringing at yo visage cuz its so droll!

bellchar like the grazz on a summer day!

ye never stopith shining like dung on a clear day!

people think im crazy when thy look at me!

but really I just want to get with ye!

Armed guards I don’t even care!

Disguised as a teddy bear!

Robbing banks with my mugs!

When I look at thou scones I find lots o’ bugs!

I got canes like thee hath never seen!

I got brains like thou findith in a green bean!

O’ Bellchar ugly not plague thee!

O’ Bellchar I just want to get with ye!

 

Magneseius: Tis hath hearith better rhymes in a childrens book.

Trumpets lay out a beat!

Yo beating up yo guild like a bee on a summer day!

Fishing for shillings in peoples purses cuz thou needith pay!

I got 88 silver chains on my neck!

44 gold bars make up my deck!

Wooden shoes I aint got none!

Golden musket ya I got one!

Trippin’ over shillings high above the ceilings speeding in my bugey all the to Kentucky rhyming all my raps going on the attacks!

Work in mill!

Born to kill!

That’s doth me thou art not artsy!

 

Bellchar: I must say a rapper never doth rap such rhymes before. Tis I musith pick winner. Ernesto and Magneseius rise.

 

Ernesto: It be I thou confess thy love for!

 

Magneseius: Doth fool! It be I Bellchar lovith!

 

Bellchar: Ernesto I choose thou! Takith my hand in marriage.

 

Ernesto: Of course I-

 

Magnesieus is outraged and smackiths down Ernesto.

 

Bellchar: My darling Ernesto!

 

Enersto: Promise I, thee shall marry anyone butith Magnesieus.

 

Ernesto passes away and Magnesieus speakith to Bellchar.

 

Magnesieus: Bellchar! Thee mustith marry me for who else rappith better than I?

 

Bellchar: I suppose I truly mustith marry thou.

 

Magneseius begins crossing the road to unite with Bellchar.

 

Bellchar: BUUUUGGGGGEEEEEYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thump!

 

Magnesieus was so mesmerized by Bellchar he forgot to look both ways before crossing the road. A speeding bugey hath no time to stoppith and runith over Magneseius.

 

Bellchar: No! My dear Magneseius tis hath sadden by thou death! Me can no longer go on!

 

Bellchar dies of a broken heart.