Black/White/Gray

Free verse poem.

I'm in a sea of gray paint,
a world of acrylic doubt.

My world was white, pure as mountain snow,
a fresh from the factory white.
Somehow, a touch of black got in
and nothing is as it seemed.

I lived in a world of black and white,
wet was wet, dry was dry,
there was never any 'damp, but almost dry'.
Up was up and down was down,

I was never down, always up.
But now,
I'm in a world of gray.

I'm lost, I don't know what to do.
Drowning in a world of confusion,
slowly being pulled to the bottom.
Up looks like down, there looks like here.
Where do I go?
Which way do I swim?

I'm drowning and there isn't a lifeguard on duty.
I'm feeling overwhelmed and there isn't any relief in sight.

I want my world of black and white again,
no shades of gray.

I can't have white back, it'll never be the same,
never as pure as it once was.

Bring on the black,
a tsunami of darkness, of fact and blindness.
I'll dump the black everywhere myself if I have to,
I'd rather be in the dark than feel like this,

my naivety is fading,
white will never be white again.
I'll close my eyes,
darken everything,
make it all a cold and sterile black,
which attracts all the white it can.
The more black, the more white,

always a world of gray
a sea of acrylic doubt and insecurity.