Fan

A series of letters from the biggest fan of Miley Cyrus to Ms. Cyrus herself.

[These are a select few letters by Mr. Mark Marshall that Ms. Cyrus decided to share with the press after “the Incident”]

1:

Hello, Ms. Cyrus,

I am your biggest fan. I always have been; ever since November 23, 1992, when the magical entity known as Destiny Hope Cyrus was born. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was listening to “Achy Breaky Heart” by your father, the great Billy Ray. Then, the radio stopped the song and announced your birth; I knew from that moment that we were destined to be together.  But I digress. This is not about me and my appreciation of your abilities, musical and nonmusical. This is about you and your skills that have drawn me to you since the minute I heard of your birth. This is about the way you move your hips “like yeah” and how your acting skills are a shining beacon of light in the hellish maelstrom that is “Hannah Montana.”

Well, Ms. Cyrus, (please pardon my formality, but I am not yet worthy to address you by your true name) I am sorry, but I must bid you farewell. I promise that I will write to you again as soon as humanly possible.

                                               Your admirer,

         Mr. M and M

6:

Good day, Ms. Cyrus,

I have noticed that you have still failed to send me a reply to any of your letters. I am not mad though, I can see exactly why you cannot yet profess the feelings for me that are hidden deep within you. My achy breaky heart does understand, and it can, and will wait for you give it and its owner the affection they deserve. I see the look in your eyes, the look that shows that we are kindred souls. It does not matter whether you are acting as the protégé of a duck, singing a song, or pole-dancing. I know you! I know we belong together! (I am sorry for almost quoting Taylor Swift in your presence, I am quite sure you despise her.)

Once again, Ms. Cyrus, I must bid you farewell, no matter how it pains me to do so.

                                               Waiting at his mailbox for his                                  ‘Destiny’

                                              Mr. M and M

23:

Quack, Ms. Destiny Cyrus

I just heard your song “He Could Be The One” for the first time! I am overjoyed to hear that you truly are thinking not only of me, but of us. I cannot wait until we can finally be together, forever. We will transcend our dainty human lives and become heavenly entities; destined to live together forever in the domain of our Lord and Savior, Mr. J.C.. It will not be much longer until my dream---no, our dream, becomes a reality.

                                               Your loving fan,

         Triple M

30:

Hello, Destiny Hope “Miley” Cyrus,

The day is finally upon us, the day when the two of us no longer will live apart as earthly beings in this worthless plane in which we live, but as a sole being of noble divinity. Just think, we will no longer have to hide our love! We will be together, forever. I personally cannot wait.

I wish I had more to say to you at this time, but alas, I must say goodbye.

P.S. I have finally found your email address, so I am emailing you all of our correspondences as we talk, to ensure the fact that you get them.

                                               Your perpetual, adoring fan

         Mr. Marcus Martian

33: [The final letter from Mr. Marshall]

Sweet niblets, Miley

I cannot believe what I am hearing on the news! It appears that there is a manhunt going on for a “Mr. Marcus Martian.” I am shocked, appalled, and disgusted that you, my angelic creature, would allow something as uncouth as this to take place. I know that this was all a big misunderstanding, and will soon be cleared up.

Although, I do have two very fortuitous pieces of information relating to us. The first is that my (now ex) girlfriend is---no, she was, pregnant. I realized that if she was to have that child, it would forever pale in comparison to your perfection. Following that train of thought, I took care of them both. And I did it all for you! The second is that I have realized that it is finally time for us to meet, and to be one. I know how you feel about me, and I know that if I tell you my name, you will make everything work between us. So with this, I bid you my final farewell, and the beginning of our eternity together

                                               Your no longer anonymous fan,

                                              Mark Marshall

[Fortunately, Mr. Marshall was able to be caught before he could hurt anybody else. Unfortunately, Ms. Katrina Winthrop and her unborn child were not as lucky. Also, we are not at liberty to divulge what was done to them to the general public.]

Reviews

[Tabatha P.]

Heh. This is really disturbing. You do a good job expressing the insanity that lies in this man. However, I do agree with one of the other reviewers that the letter format just doesn't seem correct. I get why you used it but something about it doesn't seem to fit. If you just took off the greetings and signatures and left them as seperate paragraphs, I could see it working. it might make it even more disturbing because we don't know specifically how he's speaking to her. It could be in a way much more disturbing than letters. That's just a suggestion though.

Great story. You did a good job of getting into the character.

[chaotic katie]

i liked it

[R. L. Aversa]

I could really believe something like this would happen. People get insane when it comes to celebrity worship.