I don't want to hate you

Years ago I thought you were ready for me
that you would rescue you from my life of obscurity
I wouldn't have to want to be wanted anymore
truth evaporate from your words years ago
crumbled like the Marigolds I preserved when we met
I was broken, but still whole, young, free and you
found me in my drug induced, catatonic daydreams
and said you would be my tourniquet
but I'm bleeding now because of you...
The rhythm of our hearts was written in epic lengths
plans were made as we became one complete person
now we've separated and I can't help feeling illegitimate
because I feel like I mean nothing to you.

Reviews

[Mia Pow]

This brings back a few memories i wish could be forgotten...but i learned from them so they remain a part of me. Fantastic details! They quickly draw you in!

"plans were made as we became one complete person
now we've separated and I can't help feeling illegitimate
because I feel like I mean nothing to you."

[Glee]

Sounds bitterly hurtful. But nicely put.

[A Cherin]

The poem is simple and complete in meaning.

"that you would rescue you from my life of obscurity "
I'm not sure if you meant, "rescue you" because when I read the first three times, I thought it was "rescue me." When I discovered it was rescue you, I didn't understand. I also don't completely understand the use of the word obscurity.

"truth evaporate from your words years ago "
I believe "evaporate" should be in past tense to maintain the verb tense, so just change it to, "evaporated."

Near the end, "illegitemite" also feels as vague in meaning to me as obscure. But in whole, the poem is fine.

[Jaycee]

I know exactly what that feeling is like. Nicely put. Seems everything crumbles right.

[Quaysa]

I love this poem. It talks about the very things that I go through.

"The rhythm of our hearts was written in epic lengths
plans were made as we became one complete person
now we've separated and I can't help feeling illegitimate
because I feel like I mean nothing to you."

This is so beautiful because I know how it feels. You said it all so perfectly.
~Quaysa~

[Desdemona Lisa]

I really love your style of writing. I read the first line and couldn't stop reading. You are very articulate in your expression.

[Wsn Radio On Writerscaf..]

this is a very sad piece. well-written, and much sentiment conveyed.

[Marquise]

Wow, I think the last reviewer took the words outta my mouth, but its true, some of the darkest thoughts and feelings bring out the most beautiful poetry.

Love sure brings out the best and worst of us, regardless if the love is true or not....

[Wendy G.]

"you
found me in my drug induced, catatonic daydreams
and said you would be my tourniquet
but I'm bleeding now because of you... "

these are beautiful lines, some of the darkest things bring out the most beautiful poetry.

I'm not sure about the second line "that you would rescue you from my life of obscurity" did you mean rescue me?

all in all a great poem

[Ryan Jaimz Knight]

I liked reading this, a lot of emotion comes through, and the speaker conveys the feelings of loss and betrayal clearly. This is a great poem, thank you for sharing this with everyone in group Generation NeXt, and WC! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Ciao!
BJH

[Hawksmoor]

now we've separated and I can't help feeling illegitimate
because I feel like I mean nothing to you.

Damn...

Hawksmoor...From The Bleed.