Addie

I watched the light go out of your eyes

held you close, to feel your wind slowing

you didn’t shudder or shake, like you had

you didn’t try to kiss me, like you had

but I did you, on your head, as you slipped

from something, into nothing

I expected the world to pause,

I expected trumpets and angels and instead

there was only silence, and the end;

I turned you to ash and carried you for years

until I couldn’t stand the heaviness in my heart

and let you out into the wind

from where we all start.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Most of us have mislaid beloved people. But, no matter how we experience that loss, not one of us feels the same pain or has the first and last thought of each day ever after. I use the word 'mislaid' instead of lost because.. we don't lose, we cannot lose that person's once spirit but- what was once accessible. What we knew and know still exists, it needs to exist and does. Do you think..

Such a sad write but a tribute too, JR.

[JR]

Thanks so much. I think it helps to cement that spirit by writing it all down.

[emmajoygreen]

Yes, it certainly does for many people. Seems Is both extreme joy and tragedy that has mind and imaginative thought meld.. if not perfectly but as a small plaster, perhaps

[R.E. Ray]

JR, beyond the pain and disbelief is the loss of innocence. I think everyone sees death differently until they see it, hear it, smell it and touch it. To know the absolute nothingness that washes over you, a survivor, is to know death. You've captured that well in this one. And, yes, we all start and end in the wind, just at different places and times.

[JR]

Seeing it first hand certainly changes you. There's just this moment, where they are, then the next moment where they aren't. It's a hard thing to try and put into words. Appreciate your comments, as always.

[R.E. Ray]

I understand, JR. I've watched people die, one from a gun shot. It changed me forever. Even 20 years later, I still remember the experience. You've captured it as well as anyone could, without the obscene details.

[JR]

Thanks. I'm pretty happy with how the poem turned out, if not for the memory.

[R.E. Ray]

You're a good writer and storyteller, JR. One of the best in the Cafe. Much of what you write could be incorporated into a novel.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A painful realization when left here, alone and without warning, well done, good read.

[JR]

Thank you so much.

[AJNJ]

The sadness in loss is felt keenly yet the act of letting go feels very human. That is just life. Well expressed.

[JR]

Thanks man, I was hoping that sense of loss and letting go would come through.

[AJNJ]

It has and in a big way.

you didn’t try to kiss me, like you had
but I did you, on your head, as you slipped

Keep writing.