Forget

They don't understand

why I sit naked

in the cold

Staring at outlines

of tree limbs naked

Moonlight molds

As if their silent silhouette

can make me

Forget

 

They don't understand

why I cry

all alone

Deep in quicksand,

bury feelings there

Suffocate the drone

of loneliness

and make me

Forget

 

They don't understand

why I sit pensive

before blank paper

Staring at outlines

of feelings captive

Silent narrator

of my losses

I have been

Forgotten

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

They don't understand

[Sweetest Sin]

Whoa! These few words have such deep meaning! Awesome! Well written! Thanks for sharing!

[Adam Jordan Turner]

I like this piece a lot and I can tell I'm going to like your style a lot! I particularly love the last stanza, I think it's perfect especially the line "Silent Narrator of my losses' I could almost see you writing a spin off of this piece with that title. Very strong piece here, great language you have! The structure is great as well, I love the repetition with "forget...forget...forgotten." You've also got a way with imagery here that I believe I could grow accustomed to, I mean that in the best way possible. Very nice.

[Anna]

"Staring at outlines

of tree limbs naked

Moonlight molds

As if their silent silhuoettes

can make me

Forget"

love this! I enjoyed reading this very much and look forward to reading more of your work!

[Bethany Woody]

I wonder sometimes if people really need to understand why we do things, why we are the way we are. I mean it's about being me, what I think, and what I feel. I wonder and then I spend five minutes explaining myself to my best friend like he doesn't already get me, it is the need to be accepted by others that drives us to it I think.
There are so many great things about this piece. The comparison between you and the trees, how you are both naked, perhaps about to start anew. The tree with leaves, flowers, or fruit and you with an outlook on life, a second chance perhaps. The bury the feelings in quicksand line makes me thing that a part of you has died, that you are again starting new, moving away from one life to the next or one stage in life to the next, and the old must stay in the past, dead and buried as they say.
The last stanza, the blank paper, what is ahead for you in this new life, this new stage or chapter of living. Perhaps a bit of you showing your fears that there is nothing in your future with the blank page and you being forgotten.
No matter what the true intention of the piece I like it very much. It is very thought provoking. And it reads very smoothly. I can easily make the transition from one stanza to the next.
Keep up the great writing.

Mona Lisa

[Prose-full]

i love this...
"They don't understand"--grabs me..
"why I sit pensive
before blank paper"---blows me away..and i so get it..
Staring at outlines
of feelings captive"------i'm speechless...i want to say something brilliant;but, um..no, still speechless

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Wonderful poem - 'they don't understand' - why we do what we do -

'why I sit pensive

before blank paper

Staring at outlines'

and yet we do...all for different reasons perhaps - I wonder what are yours for doing such things - I know mine I think...great write - elusive yet entwining. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[heidi..through the look..]

to forget and then to be forgotten.. beautiful in the way that only the sadness can bring.
thanks

[Angel Bird]

Beautifully tragic poem. Very sad I think the essence of this wonderful metaphoric philosophy.

I like it immensely, and the rhythm of it makes it the more effective. It's the nakedness that transports through the whole poem and makes me feel cold even though I^m sitting here in a snuggly warm room.
That's because it is so well done! Great job!