You were never here

I feel so alone

I want to scream

Who to call on the phone

This a a nightmarish dream

I hate what you do to me

You leave me here lonely

Why do you mess with my mind

Why do you play this part

Of breaking my heart

I blocked you could have left me alone

Tell me all this bullshit how your job cant have us talking on the phone

You are my ghost

For the first time you look so scary to me

You play the good husband

Does she know what you do

She is safe with you

With the diamond rings

All the pretty things

You lie beside her in your Santa Claws apparel

Why dont you love me

Instead you cast your you have love for me spell

I hate you today so well

Why do we abuse

Why did you beat me black and blue

I think  he wears a mask

Why am I the one you attack

you didnt even give me my prize

I am the doll you just cast aside

Then when I say good bye

you come with your notes and I am tied

The more I stay I realize

I dont like this guy

i dont even know

I thought we were connected in the soul

Now I see you were just my ghost

So leave stay with her

Why didnt you just leave me blocked

Why bring me home and be my lover

Where are the good men its one after the other

Then my hike buddy asks me if i watch porn when i masturbate

Are these the ways your mama taught you what to say

when talking to a lady in your day

I dont understand

i want to scream

Yet it has become so lonely

i loved you only

But you disappeared

I realize you were never here

I catch and release

we aren't meant to be

Yesterday was a mistake

Now i see

why am I dumb

Why can't you let me be

oh sweet love

where is that destiny

Please mother mary

Pray for me

Life has become a bummer

A wasted summer

I want my poetry to be talking about something more worthy

Why is it so complicated

When will we get back to those days

When love shined brighter than sun rays

Now my country shows that love is dim

Everyone diving in to sin

Even me

I pray for mercy

I suppose this is my mission

Love remains hidden

I realize we were just children

I say goodbye for the last time

Never will I say yes

I realize I never knew you

Everything must have been a lie

Even that JC tattoo

A real believer wouldnt scar their skin

For an image we have never seen

I dont judge

This aint love

This is just all fucked up

I feel so alone

I feel the raging running through my veins

There is no one to call on the phone

I am supposed to know better supposed to be grown

Will the mystery of love be known

Oh God please please throw me a bone

This lonely place is just so cold

I realize I love you only

Yet all this time I just wanted to be distracted from the lonely

All I find is smash and dash then disappear

All the guys are the same they were never hear

They drop me a text randomly from time to time

I ask you men why do you play with our minds

I pray to you mother Mary

Please dont let it be too late for me

Let me solve this mystery

Let love come to be and never ever leave

I realize though now love is still hidden

Dimmed in the distance

By silly children

When will the loneliness disappear

Now I see why its no good to lose control

With you I thought i was whole

but we were never here