I have to make it without you

I have to make it without you
There is nothing I can do
You aren’t free
So we can’t be
It makes me wonder why you called out for me
Why did I respond knowing this is our end clearly
Still in my heart I hold you dear to me
I try to forget your name
Forget about us
But then someone mentions Ben
I am stuck in the memories of when we were friends
I talk to a new man
An old friend but I kissed him once long ago his name is Dan
Is he the one
At first I wasn’t attracted because he always wore UPS Shorts
At least thats what they looked like it just wasn’t unlocking the door
Then I blocked him because I just couldn’t stand him anymore
I wanted Ben and the feeling couldn’t be ignored
Now here we are and I blocked Ben again like before
We must let go because he can’t get divorced
Our love isn’t in the cards
We were friends with benefits
Why is he telling me I will always be in his heart
Why does it hurt so much to part
Its a confusion and dark
I see everything we did
The secret kiss we shared in Union City Park
Maybe all my blocks wounded his heart
Maybe he just loves his wife
Its not in the cards it would be a sinful life
Karma would make us pay
I will just be thankful for those moments stolen away
All happy moments exist
When you were with me
Now its like God blew them away with His wind
It was what had to be
I am not mad at Him
We were living a life of sin
I am thankful for His mercy
I know in time all this pain will cease in me
When I forgive you and me
When my heart accepts the sad destiny
That we can never be
Even though my heart doesn’t want to
I have to make it without you