Hate

Having A Typical Emotional Upset"

I hate what we had

I hate that you made me sad

I hate that you said you loved me but never fought for me in any real way

I hate that you chose her every day while keeping me trapped in your haze

There you are with her in the snow

What were you doing with me

I must be a ghost

Casper just wanting a friend to keep

My lonely heart searches for a home

You said you were only happy with me

All the sweet sugar words just an empty calorie

I hate what we had

I hate that you always wanted to hold my hand

I hate that I will never understand

How a man can tell so many stories and still find the strength to stand

I will never know how I can be the best thing in your life

Yet you still choose unhappiness with your wife

If  you were happy then why did you mess with an innocent mind

Another Trump voter acting like an abused child

It doesnt excuse for the scars  you have left

It doesnt excuse anything for your nonsense

Kept a hold on me long enough for the pretense

Saying you will always want me

Well where are you now

Where were you then

Just another Trump voter creating careless chaos in the end

I hate that I still miss you

I hate that I am lonely

I hate I was only worth 30 minutes of time

I hate losing my sight

I hate the bullshit you threw in my eyes

I hate what we had

I hate that you made me feel so sad

I hate that you said you loved me but just played foolish games

Oh when will love come to play

When will real love fill my empty day

I dont know

Whats it all for

When inside we start with joy

Only left raw by the boy

I hate what we had

i hate I sit in this empty bed

While all this hate circulates my head

As he lays next to her

She must be so bleak and is the reason why you stay

He is so weak that now everything in him is suddenly so lame

God woke me up again

Stayed by my side

He was the only who could fight to keep me alive

I pray God will forgive me

Sometimes I wish he feels the pain I feel

I have to hate you to make this final chapter real

Its so lonely in the heart

Sitting all alone in the dark

I blocked no more voice mails

I am glad because its just fairy tales

Love doesnt happen for some

Maybe I am too ugly, too fat, too dumb

This is for the boy  who can repair cars

But only break hearts

I will remain silent but this wont go unanswered

God will find you there and make you aware

He will make you see what happened is not fair

I want to scream but the only want to hear is the empty air

I hate what we had

i hate that you left me feeling so mad

I am going crazy

You were just a pill that just added more hard stuff to heal

I hate how my heart still lies because it is loving you still...

Same old story

Hopefully God can restore the glory

in this world

In this life

help me forget

help me forgive

him and myself

I hate it all

I just wish someone would truly catch me when I fall

with a bulletproof love to make all this hate fade from sight and all the broken pieces that rattle inside

Why couldnt I get around

Why did he block my path

All the times I told you no

You just kept coming to break me down

Well look at me now

All ash and rust

Afraid to love

Afraid to trust

We were only FWB

Yet you said you have a love me

I am planted in your heart like a redwood tree

Why are you such an a*****e

Why didn't you just leave me alone

I see you smile with her in the snow

Taking away all the glow but its better for him to go

How do you heal the eternal lonely soul?

Here I am in this dark hole

What do I have to do to make someone love me

I feel so unlucky

I tried to be nice

A guy told me men find sexiness in a brat

Well there it is I dont know if I want to be like that

My mama tells me I would look better if skinny

They tell me I will never make it because I am lazy

I just want to scream and say I hate you baby

Why was I trying to solve this one hundred unsolved mystery

Why is life so stressful like a bad dream

Why did you choose me for your latest victim

I just want to hate you to heal all this sickness

 I should have known all these white men are all the same with their privilege

You wear HIS image tattooed on skin

When in the end its only darkness and demons within

I pray I wont be consumed like you by the hate

I pray it all just fades away

Every memory

Every kiss

Every touch

I take it back and away

I see love was never there

There is no true heart I see anywhere....

Only the hate filling my air

Why couldnt I get around

Why did you come to break me down

Blocking my path and look at me now

Lost in the aftermath

Our love eclipse turning into this hate.......

What can I say I leave my words on the page

I dont want someone like you

I realize in the end he was just no good

All the red flags I ignored

All the sweet sugary treats came to my door

Off course He wove his charm to keep me for more

I never want to be so insensitive

I never want to be so privileged

I leave my words on the page

I turn my cheek to face the other way

I wont be consumed with all this hate

I was the best thing and he knows

So go on and go to her have fun in the snow

It is a fitting place for one with a heart frozen in ice

For a soul so empty and cold

I pray that all this rage and hate wont be your permanent home

I fly away because God has me woke.