Out Here on my Own

Nobody knows the rules anymore

I feel humanity is truly lost at the core

The earth is too hot

we uncouple sex from love

Reddit and Quora says the girl should wait but allows the man to behave any way

it was truly a confusing day

he said i was a dream come true

he says he is happy I am in his life

I didn't know what to reply

he is  still tied to the soon to be ex wife

plus i am half Asian I was never around such sweet lines in my young life

its not in me to be so emotional.

I appreciate the waves he brings though commotional

meanwhile on his way to me the son called

i realized we have known each other for years i don't know the son at all

its out of my control I tell him its okay

but earlier in the day he ate onions and garlic on his subway

said he doesn't think I would want to kiss him

He tells me after a few texts

He is on his way to me

Yet his son called for help

he had to drive past my house back out

Why couldn't he come after

I didn't ask him

I feel our connection is now weird

I try to leave

He gets sad starts to cry with emoji

He says I am the best thing

Yet why cant he treat me the best

i don't know i guess we just aren't blessed

he told me why am i not sad

am i not important

its like my saying ok is an easy thing to say

I told him i am sad but its not in my control

your son's ankle broke

i cant tell him not to go

then he texts me later on

he f*****g misses me so

i text him back at ten if he is sleeping

he tells me yes and no

then he will try to sleep princess good night baby

earlier he said maybe he could come by Wednesday

i said why don't we just do Friday when we have more time

he asked me did i make plans with another guy

now because of his yes and no i am wondering was he with her or is he alone

how am i to know

what does it matter

our relationship is whatever

there is no trust

i told him i need to feel his love

he told me he is sorry he doesn't feel it

our passion is love

he feels love from me

its so hard to see

please no mind games

release me from this chain

or stay but  make me an important part of your day

but then i wonder would i do the same

we are lost

humans walking in a fog

we don't know the rules

i don't know about love or life

i learn each time i fly

when i hear from you

i guess my lonely heart swoons

i realize in the end it doesn't even matter

i just cant stay away from you

so i guess our sex isn't uncoupled from love

yet nothing makes sense

please Lord transform us in to angels from above

i don't want diamond ring

i don't want broken vows

i just want a love to last beyond now

i don't know how

i feel stuck with you

with or without you i lose

he said before he is amazed i didn't block him

i am amazed myself

i told him i was i was seeing someone else

oh us humans need help

At least I need a transformation of this spell

I need love and I need love to love me well

Its out of my control

I block him on the phone

I cant block him from my soul

this too feels out of control

without or without I lose

for some reason i can't stay away from you

Meanwhile this other dude we hiked a few times

Does it mean i have to give up my life

He calls me at 3 o clock in the morning asks if I am awake

Um hello its late at night

Usually sleeping tight

Dreaming right

Its the hour of a fool

He just wants to go to a hotel room

Where is the gardener who knows how to let the flower bloom?

Who knows how to make the fruit reply

I barely reply

He still finds a way back on the line

So its hard to see

The guy who is meant to be

I know one day my prince will come

He will do more than take me to Tahoe

He will put back the broken pieces of my heart and soul

The men got to man up

They have to realize its okay to love

its okay to ask a girl out ask get to know them the old fashioned way

Its okay to be tender at the touch

To say I miss you so much

Yet the Love word is also hard for me to say

Yet I heard someone say if we can hate for no reason

Love can last longer than a season.

I guess with the other dude the pain and loneliness that surrounds are how we relate

Also there are butterflies and feelings of love that stays awake after all this time it never dies

we made love to always be my baby

yet still everything is so complicated

i still feel unlucky and ill fated.

he is too emotionally available to be the one

God keeps calling me to wake

Only God will guide me to the one meant for me

Only God can make the dream come true

Still in the end I am out here on my own

Maybe I need to speak up let him know

All of this so we can grow

but his situation makes me wonder what is the point

I lose my voice

Tomorrow is another day

All I meet are men who play mind games

With sweet words that are nice maybe its a start to something better

The texts are the modern love letter

The ex never missed me even when I was across the sea in Greece

He is Asian too its just not in our DNA

Yet he found the way to love someone new

When I am sitting here out here on my own

Wondering where are you

This dream is still known

This dream is not dead

I know my prince will come in the end.

He calls me princess maybe he is a diamond in the rough

Maybe that's why my heart and soul tell me to not give up

Even with the mind games you can only win with love.

In the mean time we are lost down here

Uncoupling love from sex and replacing it with fear

So not me

I am following my heart

i will keep on no matter how dark

I know now.

I remember

Always will be my baby

He says he wants me always

it makes me crazy

such sweet words leaves a girl feeling hazy

Yet there is some truth to it baby

I jumped from the plane

in to his arms

in to his heart

nothing can keep us apart

why are men so fickle?

always thinking about their pickle

i write it out here

Out on my own with this eternal tear

they want to get me a hotel room

they want to take me  Tahoe

I can do that all on own

only with love can we grow

we are made to love each other

lets stop distancing each other

judging each other

increasing the hunger

let love be the wonder

that wakes us up

stop uncoupling sex from love

they walk hand in hand

when we remember

only then will we understand

all the things we need are more than a working economy

its love between man and women

equality

stop telling her what to do with her body

if you keep planting the seed

let the flower grow

let love be shown

till then i am out here on my own.