As I Cry My Tear

I am in some maze

On the earth where my home state is a blaze

I still haven't found my love

My fate is still a thousand more miles away

I met 2 guys that blew my mind

I had to have them both in one night

I felt greedy, shady, a s****y lady

I dont do this

Yet I have done things

i dont live in a cage

I live Untamed

Sometimes its good sometimes it complicates

I wanted the fairytale life the pretty pictures

I am still in this maze

He tells me he cant make it tonight

He has to work over time

I reply with its ok baby no worries

He cries because he feels I brush him off without importance

I tell him its not the truth

I miss him and I do

Yet this toxic thing we weave continues to confuse

I tell him he always works but what can I do

I cant tell him not to

He wouldnt stop anyways

He has another life on the otherside

His kids and his wife

But he always tries to win me after  I block him

i get it this just a game he wins

Yet he says I will always want you

Yet i know I will have to let go

When I find my next guy

But he will be here when i want to come back like last time

I want to live a life that is right

I hear mary sing no more drama in your life

We are gonna have fun and drink all night

I just need to let go

Let my wings fly

Take me to that place of a real paradise

Its not on earth

God is not to blame

If HE decides to let it all burn away

I am sad for our state

Yet I realize we are in a sad place

Maybe not everybody

I think of Angie now an angel but before she was a 9 year old girl whose life was stole

Found dead and naked under a tree

It took 27 years for the man to plead guilty

Why couldnt he do it before

Why do we have so many open but strange doors

At least Angie is free and at peace forevermore

Everytime I think of it

My hands curl in to a fist

Why did justice wait?

Strange games humans play

Are we envoked by angels and demons

I dont know

I have to go

Get on out of here

Carry on even as I cry my tear

shake all this non love stuff

i guess I am a hopeless romantic

More like a love fanatic

I couldnt recognize what love is not

Love is all i have got

to give

to live

I borrow His breath

All my choices lead me to my death

I can only ask for forgiveness

I can still only pray for love

That somehow my dear God will end this life with better good luck

As we carry on in this hot atmosphere

There is a whole world dying here as I cry my tear