Sunshine (my history)

an ode to my history...also to my perfect Lola and my first cat Sunshine...i miss them always.

Hello Kitty is my mama

She distracted me from the sadness in every drama

While everybody in Kindergarten made fun of me

My only friend and antidote to the lonely was she

I colored outside the lines

Like every child I was naive, nice and wild

My original mix was the focus for the joking spirit

I was born from a box that sat under the ocean between the lines of California and Philippines

The children in the playground laughed and I joined in the glee while feeling slightly attacked

I refuse to follow the sheep though I wasn't perfect

I told my first black friend when I was in kindergarten

Her black skinned dont match the people at my party

So still in my garden there were weeds so evil and hearty

I apologized when my mama scolded me

Its not that I didn't like black people. My best friends are so

I beiieved I was possessed by a devil of ignorance and now I know

I was nice since then but its a scar that lies permanent on me and my friend

She did something to annoy me so I wanted to annoy her

I went too far

It is never worth the burn of breaking someone else's heart

It truly is the point of no return

So learn before you say

Maybe then we lock up the gate for hate

Its a lesson that frames me today

I know between wrong and right

Evil and holy light

i walked inbetween

Sometimes it must be done to understand what it means

Since then other demons stayed clingy

Even as an infant they saw me

A priest refused to baptize me based on geography

My papa protested and screamed

My aunt defended an innocent baby

Yet God cleared the way for me

Still I could not always see clearly

Demons of depression, lonelienss and suicide filled my life

More kids threw their paper balls

I was haunted by the most popular guy in the school halls

He never came out and said it

Yet he haunted me

Why do boys play the way they do

I felt lonely and blue

My friends helped me see it through

I went to sleep overs and parties

School dances were missing real romances

I liked the underdogs

I felt more at home

They popular guy still wanted a piece of my soul

We were never meant to be

I was more at home with my family

Yet always a girl respects the flattery

Then my Lola died

I felt I lost my real Hello Kitty in real life

My mom and my dad were always at work while in me I was her favorite girl

She gave me a fabulous world with the stories of the turtle and the monkey

She would hide my halloween treats but kept the m and ms in the closet all for me

She wanted to protect my teeth and not get me fat so she hid it all away

She always said one is too little, two is just right and three is too many

She was the one who braided my hair

I sat with my Charming cat behind me at the dinner chair while we were the card players

41 was our poker my two older sisters and cousins were always the jokers

We would sit around and sing 4 seasons of loneliness while trying to win basically 50 cents

His mother was Sunshine and she would nap with me on  my chest or side

She was a beautiful Persian cat my cousins make me believe the neighbor killed with poison and so we were separated eternally in time.

She only ate Whiskas and one day i saw an empty can of 9 Lives on the front path

She never came back to me, she never went out far and would always return

Its a burn that never heals and I guess karma repaid me in such a heartbreaking way

She had vanished and I don't know where

I remember my Uncle Joseph brought him to me in a litle brown paper bag

In my heart Sunshine is always there

i wish she was still mine to have

I was barely ten when she was gone

Still I found a way for life to go on

This is just a bit of my history

it is all a mystery

just like this coronavirus

I believe in the end its God who writes the story

He will know how it ends

I hope for my Hello kitty, my sunshine to find me through this dramatic time

I saw some kittens in Petco

Reminding me of the time i was with Sunshine so long ago......

i sit on the couch walking through memory lane

I long to go back and stay

In the golden innocent time when Sunshine was still mine to hold