Play

I did all i could do to block him he leaves a message in my mailbox

Last night when home from work at midnight for some reason why under the moonlight almost drenched by the rain there on brown paper towel is a message saying,”Joanne call me with a number and Ben’s happy face

I find it stuck to the floor of the metal box it was almost lost

I texted my best friend I wanted to be strong

I left it by my bed for it was so late all I wanted to do was write and sleep

My mind drifted to the memories we made in the bed where I lay

i find the beauty in the fantasy of the games we play 

i can’t give in but missing him don’t stop

Morning comes I missed a call for a job

Then I find two voice messages in a list that says "block"

I pressed play and they start with “Hey Princess”

I feel there is some irritation in his voice

He misses me, he is worried about me

I dont understand why

He status on Facebook remains the same and he has still his f*****g wife

With a diamond ring with an anniversary

He has weaved his power once more over me

I called it went to voice mail then I remember what we have is destined to fail

Plus what would I say anyway

Does he really need to know I am ok?

He wonders if I left the country?

He asks in the message, “did you block me?”

He says," just let me know so I don’t have to worry”

And also he adds, “I do miss you”

What is one supposed to do in this time?

instantly i remember all those days and nights we spent together

We weren’t supposed to fall in love remember

He is a bad boyfriend he told me that day in January in the cold winter

Still no matter what I can’t forget the power of the kiss and the touch

His fire burns me and all I have is this big blister

Where on the face book page on manicured nails sits a big diamond ring

I want to call him up and scream

What is the point?

This is nothing that I dreamed

Still I press play and listen to his voice

I don’t know what to do

My mind says I should say no

Erase it all from my phone

Rip up the note and throw it away

Yet my heart is screaming because she doesn’t want him to go away

Yet all i can do is press that button and let his voice play……..

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Such desperate feelings of a trapped heart crying out in pain as it is wedged between love and anger as the lover is still with someone of significance and yet has the 'fish' played on the hook. A very detailed free verse filled with pathos. Ultimatum, he leaves his wife or no deal!