Green heart

Its starting to get hard watching the couple scene

I can feel my heart turn green

Oh there is a dream in me

No matter what I still believe

My true love will come set me free

Turn his key in the lock for love to give and to receive

Please, oh please Dear Lord don’t forget me, show mercy, please forgive me

I know I have been naughty

Loving someone’s hubby

I thought we would be something 

Years later still nothing

I was reading the story of the saints on all saints day

Some were 12 when they were forced to marry away

I see many couples standing side by side and it just looks like a fake happy

yet my co worker goes home to her hubby for movie night

i just go home to my couch of leather and white

Once apon a time there was someone I could cuddle and feel safe and nice

Now on all Souls day I am faced with the memory as the tears fall through the space in my heart, I have three rooms one still waits for you

Oh please my love i hope you find me

Oh Dear Lord show mercy, send my husband to make real this eternal dream

He fed me many lies

Yet I couldn’t be saved I was blinded by the sweetness and lines

Oh why did this destiny fall on me?

This is not the one I choose?

How can I change it when i am not the society’s definition of pretty?

oh why can’t you love me?

He says he is chasing me but is no where to be seen

I have to let it be

The only option is to stay alone

He came and found me and came in to my home

I guess its just players playing

There is no forever

Its whatever

People wear wedding rings but still f**k whoever

Adultery comes in many forms

I have finally conquered the storms

I woke too late

I guess this was a lesson taught by fate

I will not allow myself to be consumed by your hate

I know this is wrong

With him is not where I belong

Yet I miss his kiss, his touch

Yet i know in time I won’t miss it so much

Yet in the chocolate shop the couples come in two

Oh my love how long must I wait for you??

Please Lord, please forgive me and make the dream come true

Please stop blaming me for leaving the door open

Its no always my fault that Daizy is in your bed

Please stop yelling and scolding me

It creates so much noise inside my head

I thought you were my friend was there love when he was holding me

My supervisor calls me b***h

My stalker always makes me itch

My lover has a wife and kids

I walk away from all

I was destined to be a fool blinded and so I fall

What is the point of the texting?

What is the point of a call?

I see now we were never meant to be at all

I said no one would take you from my side

Yet you can’t stay because of your wife

How do i move on from this mistake?

What is there to look forward in life

All the men just want me naked

There is nothing sacred

Wedding rings are just shiny bling

The vows so blurred its like two people made it in a drunk spur

 We don’t know what we do

Every human degreed at more like a fool

While the children and homeless remain ever so cool

All are human 

Even me and you

I just have to believe that one sweet day my love will find me and the dream will true

The dream isn’t dead yet

You can’t take it from me

You breathed life in to my dead body

Yet heartbeats are for soul mates and the lovely

He told me from the start he is not the one

There is something on his heart that leaves him blocked

He doesn’t want kids

He doesn’t want the label

He is unavailable and unstable

So why even knock at my door if only to teach me this weak fable

I will never understand

It makes me cry

It makes me mad

He says I am the perfect sex and still his heart is not mine to be had

So I just take all this sad and let it slip through my hands

My God sits with me silently in the night and I know He understands

Maybe I was supposed to be a nun

Now its too late

I guess this is just my fate

To be loved by no one

Yelled at by everyone

Just to be fuckable

Not lovable

Inside my heart is this sadness

I give it to God

There is no use for the madness

I will never turn to the dark

i give the heavens all the pieces of this broken heart

Fix me Lord, I whisper

Fix it so I dont feel the pain, I don’t feel the shame, I don’t feel the broken place in this body, in this soul, just fix the things I can’t control wrap your angel wings around make me whole

Lost so I work in retail store

I told my co worker I have degrees

She asks why are you working here?

The loneliness is to near

The reminders just torment this heart in here

I need to be around laughter to remind me of the unattainable fairytale happily ever after

I just can’t give up on the dream

the couple scenes leave my heart green

I will still believe that there is a love for me to give and receive

I will find my husband to call my name as wife

One day I will find the Right man to change my life

I also like being alone

Yet I don’t want to be forever

I don’t know how to get it all together

We are in a weird time

Its hard to sleep at night

All I can do is cry

All I can do is try

To keep myself in the sky