wake my heart up

My mind has to wake my heart up

Our love making feels like a f**k up

Yet the strong dopamine invokes the feelings of love

She don't want to release

She can't break free

He holds her down strongly

I whisper I like it

Making love, making me believe we aren't lonely

Oh, we are the loneliest people in the world

I want you as my man, I want to be your only girl

I think I say it next time I see his face

Even if he distracts me with his embrace

He kisses my body and he holds me tight

I can't breathe even if wrong it just feels right

I don't want to stay stupid and blind

I am just a captured deer in the headlight

This is the fear talking

I never liked the feeling of falling

The fear of made mistakes

The fear of the unknown heartaches

I love writing poems about him

The way we kiss and about what I miss

Also i am fine with just this

I spent hours on past love

I don't want pictures of us on Facebook

I don't want to declare myself in a relationship for doom

I just want to stay innocent and make love to you

Why can't I have it all?

Why doesn't he catch me when I fall?

Why is it so confusing? Please lets not keep abusing and fooling

I check the signs for toxic

It doesn't feel that way

i think I just drank too much poison

It is too late to say

So I can't leave or say goodbye

Maybe I can convince him to just spend time

Maybe I just tell him how I feel

I can do what it takes to stay real

He said I was stupid not to know he likes me

I scolded him for calling me stupid

I can still feel the arrows from cupid

He instantly backtracked thats not what I meant

He asked if I liked him

He said maybe

He said you are confusing me baby

He added don't give me the run around

i said sorry I am at work I don't want to say it out loud

He said, its just a no or yes

I said yes, and asked are you happy now

He said yes

I need to find someone new

I can't like someone like you

Yet I do

Can I just focus on the good

I refuse to be consumed

by fear of mistakes

and fear of heartaches

Sometimes for love you have to do what it takes

Even if my heart refuses to wake

i crash down all the barriers of love

I just hope my heart can wake up