Butterfly Drafts

the purge of heartbreak and poetic thoughts

I didn’t want him or love you. Why didn’t you leave me at the coffee shop?

Why did we bother to connect when now the messages and calls stop?

Men are the one living breed that I will never understand

my dog barks and speaks differently but with him I am never broken hearted or mad

Why is it always this way?

Like a moth to the flame

Oh it burns and its what I deserve

I pray that God will heal me with his divine rain

i had forgotten but then my mom said his name

those feelings that I worked so hard to bury came up again

yet he is gone so far gone…..is there no one out there to trust

no guy who knows his own heart

now he goes to work the graveyard

maybe he was just a demon in the dark

so many hearts are lonely

i thought you would be the only

i guess i was dreaming away

in real life you have gone today

working the graveyard

a demon returning to the dark

he wore a jc tattoo on his chest

i was confused and i failed the test

made it like a vision of love

i was dreaming about angels above

instead of seeing the human that was us

wherever you go i know this was whatever whenever

i still hoped we would be together forever

it was foolish i see now

it was those damn love cells without a doubt

i guess i am still that kid looking for a rainbow and someone to tell her i love you

he is not the one and now I know

My soulmate is somewhere down the road

maybe he let me go so I could let go

Maybe its better to just not know

in my heart there was love so

i know it wasn’t lust

whatever it was the reason was many hearts are lonely

i thought he would be the only

my heart was busy dreaming away

never realizing he left me today

i guess we were on our way to nowhere

he had his fun now he is on the run

i don’t want to tie him down

i can’t make him love me

yet i will close my eyes and remember how making love felt so lovely.

Everyone is married but me

I am not crying baby because I am free

I don’t need a diamond ring to feel happy

I don’t need to walk down in a white dress to feel glee

I have a little white dog and a mommy loves me

Its enough for now

Doesn’t mean I am without love

God is shining it down from above

I dont deserve it

He knows I am worth it

Everyone is married but me

I am not crying baby because I am free

I don’t need a diamond ring to feel happy

I don’t need to walk down in a white dress to feel glee

I have a little white dog and a mommy that unconditionally love me

Its enough for now

Doesn’t mean I am without love

God is shining it down from above

I dont deserve it

He knows I am worth it

Everyday is a honeymoon

Even while awake in the afternoon I live in a world of rainbows and butterflies

The hummingbird comes to say hello as he contributes to growing flowers

I am eternally high on divine powers

Its not that I didn't look and its not that I didn't try

No one asked me to be a wife

I saw unbelief and lies

Why must we break each others hearts?

I never wanted to give you mine and still missing you makes me feel like I am lost in the dark

Will i ever feel that kind of kiss again?

Oh where did you go my dear friend?

Suddenly no text but you respond to mine

I just don't know how we are to be in each other's life

Now we made love is this goodbye?

I don't need to be a wife on a piece of paper

i don't want to be chained by a diamond ring for later

I just want you to save me and for me to be your savior

To put the pieces of our broken heart together

To just stay in love forever

i know this is just a dream. The fairytale stays alive in my head as I lie down in the bed where we used to be

Where we laid side by side and he was endlessly kissing me

Was this real or just a fantasy?

When it makes hearts happy the difference means nothing to me. 

I just blocked your number

There is no easy path for you now are my ex-lover

Thoughts of you consume my mind

I knew this was a joy ride

All I wanted was love and then all I wanted was you

It wasn’t lust it was love

It was love for the joy I felt inside

It was a sweet allowance from the Good Lord above

Now I see we have no way

I will always be sad because I enjoyed all our days

Yet I won’t be mad because if these days are all we have then I let it be

I let it go

I need to be somebody

I need  to mean something too

I can’t forget my dreams. I can’t forget about you

Yet who is remembering me?

People come and go

It is what it is

Its how you are were raised

You were meant for sex games

Its the light of love that lures me like a moth to flames

I will never regret I will never forget

I just have to release the excess baggage

Thats what my best friend says

I don’t know whats right or wrong

All I know I can feel free. I can feel strong

All the burden in me is gone

I am at peace and its gonna last so long

I am on my knees singing His song

Please forgive me

Please send mercy

He wears JC on his chest as a tattoo

Thats the difference between me and you

I see Him without a drawing on my body

I hear Him calling to me I am His angel

He wraps His arms around me as  I come out of this evil spell

With Him I am always well

I have nothing to fear

I loved you dear

Now its just time to fly away my dear.