Chapter 34

In Summers apartment. Indigo says “This place is amazing.”
Summer says “Do you want a drink or something?”
“Sure.”
“What would you like?”
“You dont remember?”
“I think so.” Summer heads to the kitchen. “What do you think of the view?”
Indigo looks at Summer. “Breath taking.”
Summer looks over her shoulder at Indigo. “I meant of the city.”
Indigo walks towards the window. “So did I. How long have you lived here? I thought you lived with your mom?”
“I do. Mostly. But with the hours I can keep, I needed my own place.”
Summer walks over to Indigo and passes her a glass. Indigo takes it. “Thanks.” Indigo drinks some of her drink. “Wow. Its as good as I remember. Possibly better.”
“Glad you like it.”
“So, you got this place so you wouldnt wake Sabrina up?”
“Pretty much. You know how she hates being woken up.”
“I remember. You havent answered my question.”
“Four years.”
“Four years! Youve been back four years?”
“Longer.” Indigo goes to says something but Summer continues. “Before you ask why I didnt find you then, its because I was dealing with so much and I didnt want to drag you down. I was in a very bad place, and you deserved better than me. You still do.”
“That wasnt, and isnt, up to you. I would have helped you. Or at least tried.”
“You wouldnt have been able to. I was so far gone; I didnt recognise myself. I was lost.”
“I wouldve found you.”
Sumer shakes her head. “You would have hated me. You still might. Indi, there are things I did that Im not proud of and I cant take back.”
Indigo puts her glass down on a nearby table, walks to Summer, put her hand on Summers chin and pulls her face towards hers. “With what happened to you…”
“Thats no excuse.”
“Summer, look at me.” Summer raises her eyes to look at Indigo. “No matter what it is, we can deal with it.”
“Its not for you to deal with.”
“You shouldnt do it alone, and I wont let you. Not anymore.”
“Indigo.”
Indigo kisses Summer. “Dont try to argue. Im not going anywhere.”
Summer steps away. “Not yet.”
“Whats that mean?”
“I told you, Im bad news.”
“Not to me.”
“Indigo, stop. Please?” Summer goes and sits on her couch. “You dont know me. Im a different person from seven years ago.”
“That right. Youre Rosie now.”
“Yeah, I am. And youve heard about her.”
Summer closes her eyes and leans back. “I have.” Indigo walks to the couch and straddles Summer. “But I havent met her. Yet.”
Summer opens her eyes. “What are you doing?”
Indigo kisses Summers neck. “Waiting for an introduction.”
Summer gently pushes Indigo back. “You wont get one.”
“Why not?”
“Because Im not doing that to you.”
“Thats my point.”
“What is?”
“Rosie is not who you are, its who you pretend to be. If thats who you need to be with other people, I get it, but not with me. You know you can trust me.”
“Im not the person you knew.”
“Yes you are. You might not see it but I do. You are still my Summer.”
“I am?”
“Yes. Now, can I get back to what I was doing?”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“You were after an introduction to Rosie, so, no.”
“Ok.”
Indigo moves off Summer and goes back to the window. “Ok?”
“Youre right. I dont want Rosie. I want Summer.”
Indigo picks up her glass and drinks as she looks out of the window. Summer walks behind Indigo, and puts her arms around Indigos waist. “Im sorry, Indi.”
Summer kisses Indigos shoulder. Indigo turns in Summers arms. “What for?”
“Pushing you away.”
“Summer, are you scared?” Summer nods. “Why?”
“I not sure.”
Indigo kisses Summer. “I wont hurt you, and you wont hurt me. You cant.”
“You cant say that.”
“I can. I asked you earlier if we could focus on something. Do you remember what that was?”
“It was like two hours ago. Of course I do.”
“Thats how I can say it.”
“When did you start begging for sex?”
“When did you stop wanting it?”
“Ouch.”
“Dont you want me?”
“So much.”
“Then show me.” Summer kisses Indigo. “Stop thinking.”
“Stop telling me what to do.”
“Make me.”
Summer kisses Indigo, then suddenly picks her up, walks towards the back of the apartment, opens a door, walks through it and closes it behind them.