A Face in the Crowd

A man who is forgotten as soon as he is out of sight looks to make a connection.

A Face in The Crowd

 

            Hi there.  I’m John.  John D. actually.  We’ve met before.  I’ve seen you around a lot.  We’ve even spoken a few times.  I don’t expect you to remember me.  It’s part of my condition.  Are you familiar with the word “Prosopagnosia”?  I didn’t think so.  Not many people are.  You may know it by its more common name; Face Blindness.  I don’t have that, but I have the opposite.  At least that’s how it was explained to me.  I can see you, and you see me, but as soon as I’m out of your sight you forget about me.  It’s almost funny.  I’ve walked by people and had amazing experiences, but as soon as I leave the room everyone forgets I was ever there. 

            I was taught to survive by the only other person in the world who could see me.  Dear old mom got this “condition” when she was 13.  She had a home and a family.  I think she even had a brother.  One day she slept in and the house was empty.  Her parents had gone to work.  Her brother went to school.  No one bothered to wake her up.  When everyone came home that night they had no idea who she was.  She tried to convince them but it’s like any memory of her was removed from their brains.  She even showed them pictures with her in it and they just couldn’t see it.  Imagine your own mother not knowing you.  It was like a switch went off in the worlds head. 

            Grandma and Grampa were going to call the police to find my mom’s family.  She ran off into the backyard.  No one came for her.  She eventually went back to the house and it was like nothing had happened.  They had no memory of her ever being in the house earlier or her running off at the threat of police.  It was a little jarring to dear old ma.

            She ran off for real this time and somehow survived.  She made up rules.  She could do anything she wanted.  She could feed herself very easily.  All she had to do was order anything at a restaurant and leave before the bill came.  No one would even know she was there.  Clothes came easily to her.  Just try it on and as soon as she was out of sight it was like she was never there.  She was surviving but she was lonely. 

            About 10 years later mom was out having a few drinks at a bar and met a nice guy.  You know the drill; once out of sight she turns into a pumpkin.  Mom stayed with him all night.  The next day too.  That second night they made me. 

            This doesn’t have a happy ending.  She couldn’t be with him all the time.  He forgot about her.  He did give her me though.  ME!  That last shining hope.  Mom had a tough go of it after that.  She was a survivor but a baby was not in the plans.  She had me at an emergency room.  She wouldn’t let me out of her sight.  She was petrified that I’d forget about her.  She shouldn’t have worried.

            I knew her.  When she was strong enough she took me to dad.  She thought since I was half his, that maybe something would click.  Maybe he’s remember me.  I was half his, but not the half he recognized.  She was devastated.  I can’t blame him.  It’s just our condition. 

            She raised me right.  Showed me how to get food and clothes.  Mom had a nice place for us.  We lived in an abandoned apartment and really didn’t want for anything.  I had everything I’d ever need.  I went to school every day.  It was actually pretty easy.  I’d choose a different school each year.  Sometimes I’d stay longer if I liked it.  I’ve taken classes at Yale.  I can just walk into any class and learn for free.  By me reckoning I have the equivalent of a Doctorate in Medicine and a Masters in Criminal Justice.  I watched a lot of bad TV about crime solving doctors as a kid, so sue me.

            Mom died about five years ago.  She was buried as a Jane Doe.  I figured I’d make it easy on everyone and just call myself John D.  I try to have fun with my condition.  I was really depressed when mom died.  How could I not be?  I am forever unknown.  I decided to make this a positive.  Along with the aforementioned free food and education I’ve decided to dress as crazy as possible.  I always thought it would be fun to dress as a wizard, so I did.  Ever wanted to go to the Empire State Building dressed as King Kong?  Did it.  I have a great life.

            I have one rule.  Don’t fall in love.   I don’t want to go through what mom did.  I couldn’t imagine having a kid who didn’t know me, or worse who did but wouldn’t know anyone else.  I can handle it but I don’t think this life is for everyone. 

I do what I can to give back.  If I see someone doing something illegal, I try to stop them.  No one can ever identify me so it’s worked out a few times.  I’m not much of a fighter so I don’t do that too often.  Every Wednesday I bring food to the homeless at the park. 

I’ve been reading a lot.  If I’m being honest with myself…I am lonely.  I can talk to anyone whenever I choose but I have no relationships to speak of.  I’m not sure what to do.  No one knows me.  Anyone who even gets a glimpse of who I am forgets about me the moment I’m out of sight. 

I hate my life right now.  It’s been weeks since I’ve gone out and spoken to anyone.  What’s the point?  I can’t do it anymore.  Mom had her family for 13 years and then had me.  I have no one.  I’m so alone.

I’m trying to shake this off.  I’m not suicidal so I have to accept this as a problem.  All problems have a solution.  I just came up with the simplest one.  Let’s see how this works.  I went and got a mask.  Not a creepy mask.  It’s a real good one.  It looks like one of those 40’s movie stars.  Ok, it’s a little creepy but I’m desperate. 

The theory I have is somehow my face is the problem.  If they never see it, then they can’t forget it. 

I’m going to try today. 

I met someone.  A woman.  I was at the park and she was waiting for someone.  I wore the mask but I also had a costume to make me look like a street performer.  I didn’t want to seem like a crazy person.  I had memorized a monologue and was acting it. My Shakespeare is quite good.  Apparently she was a fan of the classics.  As I finished I heard her applause.  We spoke.  We spoke about Shakespeare and then how great the day was.  We talked about movies.  We talked about food.  I told her about the mac and cheese at the tough to get into restaurant.  Everyone goes for the steak, but the mac and cheese is the best thing on the menu.

Her friend never showed up.  She didn’t care and neither did I.  We enjoyed our talk.  She asked me if I was going to be here performing the next day.  I told her I was.  She promised to come and see me.

She showed up the next day.  She remembered.  She remembered me.  I felt so stupid that I never once thought of a mask.  This was a good first step.  We spoke again.  She is amazing.  Her name is Alice.  She works at a bookstore.  When the weather is nice she comes to the park on her lunch break. 

We have a date tonight.  I’m not worried about tonight.  She hasn’t seen my face so I don’t think she’ll forget me when she sees me.  I’m torn.  If I don’t go then I’m remembered.  I don’t care about my face.  I care about knowing someone.  I care about being known.  I can have this date tonight.  I can know her for one more night or I can decide to not show up and leave her wondering.

I go.  There was never any doubt.  We ate dinner and went to a jazz club.  We ended with a coffee and dessert.  Also a kiss.  I gave her a kiss.  I can’t stop thinking about that kiss.

I put the mask on as I go to the park the next day.  She’s right there waiting.  She looks beautiful.  With the mask on, Alice still remembers me.  She tells me what a great time she had last night.  I told her I did too.  My heart is racing.  She tells me to take off the mask so she can kiss me goodbye before she goes back to work. 

Moment of truth.  I take off the mask.  We kiss and make plans for tonight.  Dinner again.  That night I get ready to see her even though I know she won’t be there.  Like a man walking towards his death, I’m going through the motions.  I know what’s happening.  I should never have done this.

She’s not there.         

I don’t know why this depresses me so much. I knew it was going to happen.  I’m so stupid. 

I don’t go outside much for the next few days.

I miss her.  I’m a fool.  Like someone who rattles a beehive, I know I was going to get stung.  So stupid!

I can’t help myself.  I go to the park.  There she is reading on her lunch break.  I know what book she is reading and brought my own copy in the hopes of starting a conversation.  Alice notices me and smiles.  That smile.  Why am I doing this to myself?

We make chit-chat.  I already know what she likes so the back and forth is easy.  She gets up to head back to work.  Alice says goodbye and walks away.  She gets about 10 feet away and stops.  She turns around and comes back to me.  “I’m sorry.  Have we met before?  You seem so familiar.” 

I smile at her.  “I’ve just got one of those faces.”

Author's Note

I'm expanding this into a novel and am looking for editors. I am considering self publishing and was just taking the temperature for a story like this.

Reviews

[A. Hannah]

This
Is
Amazing!!!
You attention to detail, the flow of the story, you captured my attention in the first few lines and I couldn't stop. I want More!!!! Either in a book or a screen play. Absolutely fantastic read! I can't wait to read more!