10,000 bated breaths

10,000 seats left vacant,

All for one moment.

20,000 eyes meet the same spot,

Boring the same hole.

20,000 hands raised in the air,

Praying and begging.

100,000 toes wiggling,

In anticipation.

 

One foot leaves the ground,

Lifting backwards.

Two eyes sight frantically,

For empty space.

Two arms swing backwards,

Gaining momentum.

 

Two feet depart the ground,

With one purpose.

Two hands reach out,

Extending.

Ten fingers wiggle,

Stretching furthur.

 

One moment of judgement,

Decides it all.

One whistle blows,

Signifying the end.

22 feet depart the ground,

In celebration.

22 hands held high,

In euphoria.

 

One drops to the ground,

Another cheers.

10,000 heads hang low,

In defeat.

 

The net is alone no more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

What can make it better?

Reviews

[The Autumn Faerie]

About basketball, is this?
I've never been one for sports, but I do think basketball fits...
Hm... What can be done better, you ask?
I honestly can't find anything that could be changed.
You've excellent imagery..
I feel like I'm at the game right along with them...
I know! You can change it to 10,001...!

Mhm! That's what you can do. ^.~

[Moki]

Oh hey, this is quite intense.

[Nessa]

I thought you said you weren't good at writing?!?!
I think this is really, really good.
I love your writing,
and I love you.

[Piper Sullivan]

Hehe, I was counting toes in my head whilest reading this. I actually like that you used numbers for the beginning of every other verse except the final one. It keeps a very nice rhythm and momentum that is carried throughout the poem. It took me a moment to gather that this was about basketball (it is, right? It fits perfectly, as Raye said), but it's only because my mind doesn't relate to basketball too well. And yet after a couple of moments of thought and I knew what it was about. The whistle blowing and the mention of 22 feet gave it away ;)

I definitely felt the tension that a fan might feel at a game, which is great!
There is one verse that tripped me up a little bit:
"One whistle blows,
Signifying the end."

[Hannah Jane]

I liked it.