Here and Now

The din, the roar

Dust and sand abound

Everything is spinning

Falling.

The mind racing

Thoughts concise and sharp.

Men shouting,

Falling.

The reality of an imagination,

One so horrid and dark.

The thoughts surface

Amid the din, the roar.

One foot before another,

A beating pain,

A flash of reality,

It all ends,

Here and Now

Author's Note

any good?

Reviews

[Piper Sullivan]

I actually enjoyed it, contrary to your claim of it not being good. It had nice momentum and I agree with Benjamal, the wording is really nice. The only part that kind of seemed out of place is, "the mind clear." For some reason, I felt as thought the mind would be anything but clear in such a circumstance, but I think I'm just being nitpicky. Overall I enjoyed it.

[Robyn]

Yeah it's good. Your poem created such a vivid scene of images in such short lines.

[Cortney Lynn]

goodness! this was eerie, in a brutally fantastic way.

[KieraCrimeScene]

Yes! It's very well written! you made the reader interested. The only negative thing i see, which is very small most poets don't really care about this much, but since you want advice, it is not screaming its point. I just mean you really couldn't tell what it was to be about. Could be that you didn't want to there to be a point. I'm not saying this is bad because its NOT. its amazing! I really liked this poem actually. Thank-you for sharing this! Your a great writer and I cant wait to see more!!

[Benjamal]

i love this... the wording is so cool

[lAcEy_LoO's Poems Site]

Its really good!!!! Dont dout yourself

[BriAnna Wyble]

nope. its not good...


its great!

:]