My beautiful sunflower

My beautiful sunflower

A Poem by Canicus

The hail is pouring faster
the fog is getting thicker
everything is getting destroyed
not much more is left

It's getting harder to see
things are becoming blurry
the air is moist
with the feeling of nothingness

I see something
out in the distance
slowly being pulled towards it
standing above it I'm astonished

I pick it up without hesitation
in my hands I hold
my beautiful sunflower
shining bright with her yellow petals

Each petal represents
a great quality of hers
the sunflower with one million petals
she's so amazing

© 2012 Canicus


Author's Note

Canicus
Sorry it doesn't rhyme, and it may seem all over the place, but I'm trying to get back into writing.
enjoy.

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Reviews

It may not rhyme, and it may have been written at a time when you were "trying to get back into writing" but I enjoy it a lot. The way you use the weather, and the symbolism with the petals "the sunflower with one million petals" with "a great quality of hers". Lovely how in the foggy times there is something that can stand out to a person and make things worth it. Beautiful. Enjoyed this a lot.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Its always good to get back into writing, I know I need to. Its a good first step to getting back in.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Poems do not have to rhyme,.
this was beautiful btw.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Beautiful piece. Great job! :D

Posted 12 Years Ago


That was really nice, having a beautiful calm feeling after reading it. A poem with humble words, a poem of humble flower. :) A SuN FloweR. . :) Good job..

Posted 12 Years Ago


Really nice.well done. sunflowers are pritty.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Pretty :3

Posted 12 Years Ago


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I really liked this, you managed to paint the scenery in my mind perfectly.
The only thing that seemed a little bit "off" was the jump from the penultimate stanza to the last. It almost feels as if there should be another stanza in between, maybe? I'm not really sure. But it should make a connection between the flower to 'her', rather than just saying "the flower represents her" right away. I don't know if what I'm saying makes much sense, sorry! ^^
Anyway, great job, I really liked this poem.
Cheers :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


SImply beautiful. Personally i prefer freeverse to actual rhymes. Nice write

Posted 12 Years Ago


that was very beautiful and I'm glad you sent me an RR for it.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on April 21, 2012
Last Updated on April 21, 2012

Author

Canicus
Canicus

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