deathwish

01/2012

When

stained window panes 

light crumbling hallways

stretched down to a sad

synthesized resemblance

of myself

When

smoke clings to the already

sweltering and hanging air

that hangs like dust,

choking fragile lungs and

killing hearts

 

When

I awake to reality, beset 

with oxygen tank futures 

and chemotherapy, surrounded 

by generations that don't 

understand me

When 

death walks hand in hand

with what remains of my

depleted resources and

inanimate dreams, agonized 

by grief 

When

flies surround my decaying body

and fallen angels search this

plane frantically for my soul,

will I still reach for the tobacco

and for the green

probably so

Author's Note

Reviews

[patricia]

You got this across realy well. My mum died when I was ten, her heavy smoking killed her. You'd think I would have stayed well away from nicotine, but I guess as a child breathing in the stuff I was probably already addicted. Unlike alcohol and drugs, nicotine is slightly more socially acceptable, and a nicotine addict as less chance of a recovery, because the rock bottom they have to hit is usually only when it is destroying their health. Whereas drugs and alcohol take some to prisons and other dark places and perhaps the consequences are more of an incentive to recovery. Nicotine is a subtle killer in many ways. Thanks. (sight) (I hate it when I get on my soap box...sorry.

[Amila Jay]

Absolutely, very very nice!! Great poem:-)

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Very nice, i enjoyed this one a lot, the way your words "when" are at the beginning of each stanza, and then the last line for the ending that ties it all together, nice write.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

you spoke from your heart...

...nice one

[limbalring]

Wow. This is amazing. The writing here is impeccable. You are a talent, sir.

[olla]

I quit 16 years ago.. you have sent a powerful message..

nice way to put your message out there.

[Draven]

This is interesting. I love the structure of it too.

[Coyote Poetry]

I remember the days when John Wayne advertized cigarettes. When I was the Army in 1977. In out MRE we had 5 cigarettes. I don't know. Many ways to died. Maybe freedom of death should be our choice? I like this poem. Could open the door to a good conversation. A excellent poem.
Coyote