deathwish

01/2012

When

stained window panes 

light crumbling hallways

stretched down to a sad

synthesized resemblance

of myself

When

smoke clings to the already

sweltering and hanging air

that hangs like dust,

choking fragile lungs and

killing hearts

 

When

I awake to reality, beset 

with oxygen tank futures 

and chemotherapy, surrounded 

by generations that don't 

understand me

When 

death walks hand in hand

with what remains of my

depleted resources and

inanimate dreams, agonized 

by grief 

When

flies surround my decaying body

and fallen angels search this

plane frantically for my soul,

will I still reach for the tobacco

and for the green

probably so

Author's Note

Reviews

[patricia]

You got this across realy well. My mum died when I was ten, her heavy smoking killed her. You'd think I would have stayed well away from nicotine, but I guess as a child breathing in the stuff I was probably already addicted. Unlike alcohol and drugs, nicotine is slightly more socially acceptable, and a nicotine addict as less chance of a recovery, because the rock bottom they have to hit is usually only when it is destroying their health. Whereas drugs and alcohol take some to prisons and other dark places and perhaps the consequences are more of an incentive to recovery. Nicotine is a subtle killer in many ways. Thanks. (sight) (I hate it when I get on my soap box...sorry.

[light and ashes]

This poem hits such a real place for me because both my dad and grandmother have had heart attacks from smoking. Both of them are alive. My dad quit after that. My grandmother still does it. The last stanza grabs you and pulls you in and makes you realize how huge of an addiction it really is." When
flies surround my decaying body
and fallen angels search this
plane frantically for my soul,
will I still reach for the tobacco
and for the green
probably so"

Amazing work, 100

[TL Boehm]

yes. My dad died from emphysema....
Peace.

[riskrapper]

good stuff about important stuff

[Spookers]

Interesting. I enjoyed the way you wrote this.

[CHRIS ANDES]

hahaha
this is really cute
=]

[Alex Vidmar]

I really enjoyed this one. Well done.

[Muse]

The ironic thing is...I know more non-smokers that get lung cancer than the people who actually do the smoking. It's ironic how I still feel smoking is sexy as hell...I love watching people smoke...the play of the lips...putting out the ashes...the exhale of smoke...it's somehow sensual. On the downside...I hate the taste of nicotine...it yellows the teeth...it yellows the skin. You remind us of the reality and the "not so sexy side" of smoking. And this is how it should be portrayed...it's just ugly and unhealthy.

[Jasmine]

The language feels a little laboured, like you've tried hard to make it sound poetic. BUT, I like the message and deep emotions in the poem. You've put a piece of yourself into this. Well done.

[Ruth]

Good god hon! LOL
That is excellent!
Sometimes, the habits we have are not easy to give up ey? That old familiar face of death breathes over the shoulders daily, this struck a chord or two!
xoxo

[WhiteWillow]

You write of a harsh reality. I hope this piece will give the youth, and those toying with the idea of taking up this habit, something to think about. Very well written.