daydream

01/2012

I've pushed through the weeping branches

that grow out of the foliage surrounding your heart, 

I've stood among the yellow aspens and red maples 

that grow within our dusty memories, 

from time to time I've walked the beaten paths 

winding to and from certain moments

portrayed on these frayed pages, 

hoping to catch a glimpse of you, in a memory perhaps

somewhere forgotten, 

I will wait for you

Author's Note

Thanks to Emily Burns for helping with the format.

Reviews

[Tristan]

The imagery your words evoke is simply delightful: they have lots of texture, and the sound of nature with them. You use words in a deceptively simple way and it shows no sign of forced appearance; everything fits. I do believe, however, that this poem could benefit from being broke up - all of the commas and no periods to break it into sentences makes you feel as if you have to read it all in one breath. But other than that, wonderful work.

[Pax]

beautiful

[TL Boehm]

This is soft and beautiful. I am a fan of Emily's and I see a bit of her in this.

[light and ashes]

I agree with John Jackson. This poetry is powerful yet simple :) Its amazing

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Simple yet powerful emotions are revealed in this beauty. I like the use of trees and other organic references, which greatly enhance the poem.
Very very Nice!

[Emily B]

i like this actually, the matter-of-fact monologue that just happened to find me as i wander by, i would play with the way it leans down the page maybe - read it like you would read it out loud and see where the lines naturally break

I've pushed through the weeping branches

that grow out of the foliage surrounding your heart,

Ive stood among the yellow aspens and red maples

that grow within our dusty memories,

from time to time I've walked the beaten paths

winding to and from certain moments

portrayed on these frayed pages,

hoping to catch a glimpse of you, in a memory perhaps

somewhere forgotten,

I will wait for you

[Spookers]

Awesome metaphors. Thumbs up.

[Alex Vidmar]

Beautiful. Your words are exquisite. And you write them in a smooth, beautiful way.

[M.E.Lyle]

Great, great ,great use of words. I loved "pushed through the weeping branches that grow out of the foliage surrounding your heart." Fantastic!!

[Morrigan Nicole]

Short and to the point, but ever so full of imagery.

Beautiful.

[Draven]

Great. I like the imagery in it and I love the meaning. Nice work.