liquid rubies

12/2011 (Blood type B: Installment Eleven)

I watched as she struggled to breath

desperately trying to hold onto life 

shuddering and shaking as the final

throes of death visited her mind

No doubt frozen memories replayed

intertwining with the perceptible 

her blood ran out like liquid rubies

steadily pooling around her state 

Panic spilled from her dim eyes

as she realized that I sat mere

seconds away, studying her 

demise with moderate interest

Screams echoed in the empty night

as she attempted to crawl away

but the pain and broken bones 

paralyzed her unwillingly before me

Bending over her and looking deeply

into her terror shot eyes, saying..."Don't cry,

I am here to help you", taking her hand

I ask..."Are you ready to go home?"

Author's Note

Reviews

[ChaoticSoul]

"studying her / demise with moderate interest" I loved that. I felt as if I were looking the eyes of the angel of death...watching another body cave way to death. You have such an interesting talent to write about death in a beautiful literary way, yet keeping it's utter horror and bloody mess meshed within it.

[Aidz]

Enjoying the different form of writes that Im used to, thank you for the introduction :)

[realmwriter]

Okay so now I am looking forward to reading more. Thank you for changing my mind.

Oh how excellent! very horrifying, I got the chills!! :D you describe the dark side so well... wonderful write. xx

[*[_Natasha_]*]

this is absolutely terrific! i loved it. great write yet again mr. deathdealer,this is definatly one of my top favs :) xx

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

pretty title and pic!

[Miss Marie Riorden.]

It has a certain dreamlike quality. Like it's absolutely something you would see in a dream and then wonder about it the next day. Her struggling for life, and you watching over not doing a thing to stop it. It's got an interesting twist. Rubies for blood is a great comparison.
Altogether a good read.

-Marie Riorden-

[RainQueen]

really interesting write. Death is in the third person in the first stanza, then moves into the first person as the poem progresses, evoking an image of it drawing closer. Also, death seems detached - "Moderate interest" in the middle of the poem, almost gentle and compassionate byt the last stanza - Taking her hand, taking her home. Somehow, gruesome and tender at the same time. Gripping~

[EMF]

This is as powerful a poem by you as I have read. Absolutley incredible work. Such love, intensity, fear... it overflows with emotion and ideas. Such a wonderful depiction of death as you could ask for. Words I never thought I would write. add to that, your flow was perfect, as was your use of language. You are a true craftsman my friend. Exceptional

[Arielle Ann]

very nice...interesting and chilling...someone struggles and whines, and you watch with moderate interest! the conclusion was hope at the end...that was what I loved the most!

[sharonlee]

Chilling & powerful..... that final line- masterful.