nightlife

10/2011

We swirl among the blinking lights.

Moving as one, feeding off one another.

Dancing like stars on a cloudy night.

The beat pushes the smoky haze

that has gathered above us. Our

shattered hearts mend from relief.

Moving for the refreshing change

from the daily hassle and the pain

that holds us stagnate. 

Tears stream down the faces of

the hopeful while we that know

better settle for lustful dry eyes.

Our energies entwine, empowering

us into euphoria. We may have fallen

but never will we be forgotten. 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Pratik]

Very well written! Not going by the title of the poem, I think it stands for all kind of activities that we delve into to cut ourselves out from the daily monotone. The people we meet in course, range from being overemotional to emotionally dried up(as per the second last stanza) and relationships here can be forgotten as soon as they are formed. This is my interpretation of course. But the poem is nicely composed. I like the last stanza specially! Very subtle.. :)

[Spookers]

Good description in this. You really captured the feeling of dancing at a club. Awesome.

[realmwriter]

Interesting. I like it but I have to agree I don't buy the title...

[Kim's Poems]

I really enjoy this one, love the coloful words, andplay on words.
You are a very talented writer who needs to be published.

[Andrea Vargas]

I like the concept 'nightlife' and what it is all about! It has excitement and energ. well done

[*[_Natasha_]*]

love this! your poems are always a delight to read, and i enjoy every one. excellent write xx

[Nobody.]

Hate to say the same thing you did about mine, but, that last line sums it all up perfectly. My favorite part about this (because it feels like a fresh idea) is that the poem seems to be about street life in the city, but, in the end, you return to that old fantasy voice you own so naturally. It brings an honored past and lays it at the blistered feet of a troubled present. Not easy to do, but you seemed to do it easily here. Well done.

Two things that I think would be improvements on this one (just little ones again: take em or leave em) are 4th stanza, second line...I think "we" would be better than us. And, 1st stanza, second line: "feeding off emotions" is cliche...doesn't match the craftmanship you've shown in the rest of the piece (and it hits the eye because that first line is beautifully carved). I'd say the same thing with a fresher set of words. A thousand ideas jumped my brain upon reading, but it's your piece...your call.

Once again, please don't be offended by my suggestions. the piece rocks as it stands. I have just been so thankful for the constructive crit I've received lately. I'm trying give others that same gift that has built me up so much.

Cheers!
R.G.

[Jazique]

Nice intriguing, mystical and I love how the colors entwine with the pictures. Awesome title with a great ending of "We may have fallen but never will we be forgotten." Excellent job reminds me of my book of forgotten angel.

[Shalini Dinesh]

Colorful pic, short and good poem

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Love the title... the colors, and that forth stanza. Very nice.

[Charlie Sheen]

Chop a line this is a poetic super nova bond to burn the planet of none warlocks to the ground jesus is it hot in here the party is still going strong and this write kicks a*s i shoyuld tattoo it on the wall of kickass.

Im in the legion of doom at the moment planning on blowing the mind hacker outta the water dam you Ashton

Great write duh anyone can tell that
throws you some tiger blood winning