misconception

10/2011

Here we lay surrounded by your memory. 

Self created to alleviate the scars that

etch my soul. This propagated selfishness

burns around us as I desire to stay and 

let this collapsing thought consume me.

You look up at me with admiring eyes.

Eyes that remind me of someone else.

One that awaits outside of this spawned

realm for my love and guidance. This can't

be you. You wouldn't keep me from life.

So unable to cope with your hapless passing

that I have copied your presence in my mind.

An peaceable avenue for me to hold onto 

our delicate memories in a narcissistic 

way. I am dissipating every new moment.

The ground begins to crack upon my 

realization that this appearance isn't 

really you at all. Suddenly everything falls 

away and a raging sea materializes.

I am aboard a ship sailing for the exit.

Turbulent waves rise to bar the looming

outlet. Pushing the vessel to and fro.

Storm clouds flood the sky and rumble 

as your anger grows. Lighting cracks

and punches through the salty air.

Your simulated screams echo with the wind as

waves reach to try and drag me backwards.

Towards the center of this destruction.

My mind cuts down it's own advances,

severing the ties that pull at my heart.

The rickety craft drifts out of my 

fabricated spell. Carrying me safely

to reality. "Daddy" my daughter cries

as I awake. I reach to hold her. This

is what you would have really wanted.

I know because I can feel your smile.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Larry Dyson]

beautiful thoughts...would you consider trying wording it this way?...

"Here we lay surrounded by this self- created memory,
alleviating scars which etch my soul.
This propagated selfishness
burns around us,
as I desire to stay ,
letting this collapsing thought consume."

does that sound a bit more like you wished it to sound?

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Awww that ending... so sweet, i love this. Especially these lines:
"So I have copied your ghost in my mind.
An peaceable avenue for me to hold onto "

[Lily Mae]

I felt every word..you are a descriptive genius.. and boom back to what's real with "Daddy"...perfect..x

[Desmund Tiny]

"You look up at me with admiring eyes.
Eyes that remind me of someone else.
One that awaits outside of this spawned
realm for my love and guidance. This can't
be you. You wouldn't keep me from life."

I like this stanza...... great write.....

[Dahlia Phoenix]

I love Blessthefall!

It seems the last time I logged in my writerscafe was messing up. Any who, to better matters! This poem has a flow that I can't even depict. Its brilliant and it makes poems like these more genuine than anything.


"Your simulated screams echo with the wind as
waves reach to try and drag me backwards.
Towards the center of this destruction.
My mind cuts down it's own advances,
severing the ties that pull my heart."

Just breath taking with your word choice. :D

[InkSlinger]

Not sure how I feel about this poem in general.. just know that it resonates with me on a emotional level.. almost like you are hiding behind the words, you really want to say.. to hell and back, and in the end, all that matters is the child that you created together.. very good all around!

[Crow]

Beautifully penned, heartfelt work.

I love this piece!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Really heartwarming write...
I liked it.

[Pratik]

It is a beautiful poem.. sometimes we create an imagery, walls of pretense to escape from truth and when this breaks it can be very devastating.. Liked the way you ended it.. Well done mate.. :)

[taylorrose]

very beautiful your really good thank you for sharing with me

[Kenneth The Poet]

Sounds to me like a man considering a decision that he can never take back, until that final moment before he makes it. An external reality that shapes it all in the end. This is favorited.