misconception

10/2011

Here we lay surrounded by your memory. 

Self created to alleviate the scars that

etch my soul. This propagated selfishness

burns around us as I desire to stay and 

let this collapsing thought consume me.

You look up at me with admiring eyes.

Eyes that remind me of someone else.

One that awaits outside of this spawned

realm for my love and guidance. This can't

be you. You wouldn't keep me from life.

So unable to cope with your hapless passing

that I have copied your presence in my mind.

An peaceable avenue for me to hold onto 

our delicate memories in a narcissistic 

way. I am dissipating every new moment.

The ground begins to crack upon my 

realization that this appearance isn't 

really you at all. Suddenly everything falls 

away and a raging sea materializes.

I am aboard a ship sailing for the exit.

Turbulent waves rise to bar the looming

outlet. Pushing the vessel to and fro.

Storm clouds flood the sky and rumble 

as your anger grows. Lighting cracks

and punches through the salty air.

Your simulated screams echo with the wind as

waves reach to try and drag me backwards.

Towards the center of this destruction.

My mind cuts down it's own advances,

severing the ties that pull at my heart.

The rickety craft drifts out of my 

fabricated spell. Carrying me safely

to reality. "Daddy" my daughter cries

as I awake. I reach to hold her. This

is what you would have really wanted.

I know because I can feel your smile.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Larry Dyson]

beautiful thoughts...would you consider trying wording it this way?...

"Here we lay surrounded by this self- created memory,
alleviating scars which etch my soul.
This propagated selfishness
burns around us,
as I desire to stay ,
letting this collapsing thought consume."

does that sound a bit more like you wished it to sound?

[Magic plus the mayhem.]

This is so beautiful an bold. One of your best! :)

[Aidz]

Crafted wonderously and a fitting end to a tale well spun :) (yes I make words up :P )

[EMF]

I couldn't help read the review below, and while it's a valid point, I wouldn't change a think. Exceptional write and I loved every letter as is.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I do believe that this is one of your best. Fantastic write!

[∂αʌ<..]

misconception and nightmare! i think this poem just elevate you even more, just to say, how much a fabtastic poet you are!

actually...it brought tears to my eyes...weird!o.o

[Jazique]

Wow misconception. Has some what of a hypnotic spell to it with so many words of mystery but, I just loved how you ended it with "I know because I can feel you smile" ah to feel someone else smile is like to feel another's happiness. Anyways interesting poem and very good like a story almost.Well done like a dream.

[patricia]

You have a very profound mind! This was intelligent, deep and perfect in every way. Thanks.

[Raya Avans]

You are such a wonderful writer.. your abilities are admirable, I don't think I have read one piece, much less single line of your writing that has not been crafted to perfection. Another example of tour artistry.. well done!

~ rae

[Rene Velez]

great write...

[Ruth]

And as always love, you bring home the issue so poignantly through your ending! Fabulous piece! xoxo