misconception

10/2011

Here we lay surrounded by your memory. 

Self created to alleviate the scars that

etch my soul. This propagated selfishness

burns around us as I desire to stay and 

let this collapsing thought consume me.

You look up at me with admiring eyes.

Eyes that remind me of someone else.

One that awaits outside of this spawned

realm for my love and guidance. This can't

be you. You wouldn't keep me from life.

So unable to cope with your hapless passing

that I have copied your presence in my mind.

An peaceable avenue for me to hold onto 

our delicate memories in a narcissistic 

way. I am dissipating every new moment.

The ground begins to crack upon my 

realization that this appearance isn't 

really you at all. Suddenly everything falls 

away and a raging sea materializes.

I am aboard a ship sailing for the exit.

Turbulent waves rise to bar the looming

outlet. Pushing the vessel to and fro.

Storm clouds flood the sky and rumble 

as your anger grows. Lighting cracks

and punches through the salty air.

Your simulated screams echo with the wind as

waves reach to try and drag me backwards.

Towards the center of this destruction.

My mind cuts down it's own advances,

severing the ties that pull at my heart.

The rickety craft drifts out of my 

fabricated spell. Carrying me safely

to reality. "Daddy" my daughter cries

as I awake. I reach to hold her. This

is what you would have really wanted.

I know because I can feel your smile.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Larry Dyson]

beautiful thoughts...would you consider trying wording it this way?...

"Here we lay surrounded by this self- created memory,
alleviating scars which etch my soul.
This propagated selfishness
burns around us,
as I desire to stay ,
letting this collapsing thought consume."

does that sound a bit more like you wished it to sound?

[Daytonight]

I love the last line best! Well penned. Keep up the great work.

[M.E.Lyle]

I like how you begin in a peaceful manner, bring things into total rage and chaos, then bring us all back down to the peacefulness of a little childs smile. Well, I don't really know the child is smiling, but I will assume she is.

[Andrea Vargas]

Wow, this was excellent..I Give You Props for Using So Much Emotion And Imagery! Well done

[Priscilla Sayers]

The throb of the aching heart pulses through your words and they are taken in with somber eyes. Your pain deep set in the words, your words. Wonderfully written, thank you for sharing.

[Nobody.]

great visuals. great expressive language. powerful piece.
cheers!

So amazing, so beautifull! WELL DONE! xxx

[Starting Over]

Beatuiful! This was amazing!

[Muse]

I get the feeling that you were lost, almost taken away by the tempest storm and sea. But the love of your life; your daughter....she calls you back into a reality filled with her love. She is the calm during and after the storm. She is your peace. xo

[Chris Taylor]

World class, fantastic imagery here! I totally love this work. Keep it coming.

[~Sarah~ Idríel T..]

Awesome job! =)