blur

09/2011

                                        Wrote this on the window

                                that contains true loves kiss

                                never again will I let you in

                             I can't allow this to consume me

                                    Get away from me

                                 your lies are so addicting 

                                  I've felt this way before

                                  and I can't stand here 

                                waiting with hell chasing

                                           after me

Reviews

[Hayley]

Mournful. Devastating. Contemplating. Deciding.
The only suggestion I have for you is to possibly omit the "to me" second stanza, 3rd line. I think it would improve the flow of this piece.
I can't pick out my favorite lines, but it seems to me that you have chosen just the right amount and quality of words, as well as image to really define this poem. The window at the beginning really serves a symbol that carries through.
Excellent work!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Love the brevity, the punch of how straightforward it is. The pain is palpable here.

[Raya Avans]

Beautiful poem.. well done

~ rae

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

oh so sad, well written.........

[Lily Mae]

A chill went through my body as I read this. A powerful punch is packed within these words... I can feel the all consuming love, letting go, and the need for it to stay away.. Addiction of another feels like an all consuming hell.. when it's over... Great write Josh..xx