blur

09/2011

                                        Wrote this on the window

                                that contains true loves kiss

                                never again will I let you in

                             I can't allow this to consume me

                                    Get away from me

                                 your lies are so addicting 

                                  I've felt this way before

                                  and I can't stand here 

                                waiting with hell chasing

                                           after me

Reviews

[Hayley]

Mournful. Devastating. Contemplating. Deciding.
The only suggestion I have for you is to possibly omit the "to me" second stanza, 3rd line. I think it would improve the flow of this piece.
I can't pick out my favorite lines, but it seems to me that you have chosen just the right amount and quality of words, as well as image to really define this poem. The window at the beginning really serves a symbol that carries through.
Excellent work!

[Moflo]

There is an interesting tone to this piece that really shows the emotional pull of the narrator. Strong wording, "addicting" lies is an interesting concept. Nice job.

[Andrea Vargas]

Interesting in a way that caught my attention and i absolutely loved it! Great piece

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

it's almost as if the glass captured the reflection of the moment in devastating prisms~ deeply moving~cathartic poetic~ very visual~ a poem in motion~

[Muse]

I enjoy every written word. xo

[Aidz]

Enjoying yr writes :)

[kurdapiaful]

life is never ending falling, breaking, chasing and growing. . .

[Jeremy Baker]

Sad and even distressing. Great effect!

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

strong and powerful write well done I liked it

[Juliet]

What a powerful piece. :) So bold and honest. I really enjoy this. It's a short poem, but it compensates in raw emotional power. "and I can't stand here waiting with hell chasing after me" Brilliant.

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong statements made this poem come alive. No weakness in this poem. Just honest and powerful words. A good ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote