public enemies

06/2011

two worlds apart, separate lives

tangled on the battle front

                 bodies lay mangled at our hands

oh the forest we have torn down

desperately trying to reach each other  

                 oh the cities we have laid to waste

only to be in each others arms

acting on our criminal attributes 

                  reduced to our primal instincts 

now we're riding around, raining terror

our bullets shower in waves

                   they will never take us alive, my love

feeling like a scene Bonnie & Clyde 

our essence is on this long road 

                   our liveliness beats from the speakers

you laugh at the blue lights in the mirror

pointing at the absurd billboards

                    the scenery flies by in perfection

in this moment I am truly happy

please don't wake me up

Author's Note

Reviews

[-Scribe in Style-]

WOW!
There is so much in this short but powerful piece of writing! The metaphors and comparison to the army battlefield is really exhilarating. The poem creates a speed that matches that of the field. Though I comprehend the message you convey, my stronger interpretation of this is totally different to yours - for I do not see the cars so much - instead I relate to relations, changing and growth of landscapes.
Thanks for sharing your poetry.
A

[Yari Garcia (Older Prof..]

Great poem! It's very refreshing to read something other than teen angst quickly scribbled in simple words. Pardon my bitterness, I just had a lot of RR with really crappy poetry :-p
But this one was excellent, I really enjoyed reading it!

[Destinyxi]

It shows that I'm hungry, I first read the title has 'public eminems (M&M's)'. I like how you compared it to Bonnie and Clyde. Keep on writing

[Dearantlers]

As usual, your writing is amazing. And, they way you implied that it was a dream, but never said it was great! I loved it!

[Raven Starhawk]

It is actually surreal how we live in two worlds and for some there are many more worlds to explore and get lost in. This was a great poem with just the right stuff. I can read it through and through and still see the clever arrangement of words so fitting and lovely it is just brilliant. I also can read a lot into it. The words you don't use are just as strong as the words you do manipulate.

[Marissa]

Awesome poem!

[eglantine]

i love the bonnie and clyde theme--of not caring for reality and the rest of the world but living in a maestrom between you and your lover. A few cliche images, like "raining terror"

[GunMetal]

I like how you imply that it's a dream without coming out and saying it. I would agree with ivizarx about revealing the metaphor. Though mentioning Bonnie & Clyde confirms that this poem isn't directly about them, the comparison is clear enough without it. Over all, this was thrilling and left a good taste. "our liveliness beats from the speakers" Terrific.

[allie_arrowz]

this is really interesting. i like the bonnie and clyde thing :)
your writing is so good.
especially the last line.
thanks for sharing!

[Rusty]

Interesting dream state? Or waking dream? Reader decide!

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

And you take yet another direction in your writing in this piece. Always a pleasure to watch a talent reach for something new. You are moving toward that type of poetry which is just beyond my grasp. Nice reach.