public enemies

06/2011

two worlds apart, separate lives

tangled on the battle front

                 bodies lay mangled at our hands

oh the forest we have torn down

desperately trying to reach each other  

                 oh the cities we have laid to waste

only to be in each others arms

acting on our criminal attributes 

                  reduced to our primal instincts 

now we're riding around, raining terror

our bullets shower in waves

                   they will never take us alive, my love

feeling like a scene Bonnie & Clyde 

our essence is on this long road 

                   our liveliness beats from the speakers

you laugh at the blue lights in the mirror

pointing at the absurd billboards

                    the scenery flies by in perfection

in this moment I am truly happy

please don't wake me up

Author's Note

Reviews

[-Scribe in Style-]

WOW!
There is so much in this short but powerful piece of writing! The metaphors and comparison to the army battlefield is really exhilarating. The poem creates a speed that matches that of the field. Though I comprehend the message you convey, my stronger interpretation of this is totally different to yours - for I do not see the cars so much - instead I relate to relations, changing and growth of landscapes.
Thanks for sharing your poetry.
A

[Arielle Ann]

wonderfully crafted :)

[Cassie Fraga]

coooool!!! I love the do or die moments... like a Mr. and Mrs. Smith kinda scene!!
all in the name of LOVE!!
and the music you posted with this piece was an awesome add! gives it an extra pinch of that intense feeling
great read my friend... great read indeed!!
**keep that ink flowin mr. I love your work**

[Casper]

Very nice. I really liked this, a lot. Loved the Bonnie and Clyde reference.

[bookworm]

I agree with Roarke. It has a real solid base on its own without the the B&C reference. For this reader, i had already sensed that dynamic without it being stated. That said, I too, appreciated the lines "you laugh at the blue lights in the mirror pointing at the absurd billboards the scenery flies by in perfection". That was mint, right there. Nice work, my friend.

[roarke]

Good writing. It's a large piece until you tie it down to Pop culture reference, i.e. Bonnie and Clyde. That changes all the words before and after. Is there another way to draw that reference without using B&C?
"you laugh at the blue lights in the mirror
pointing at the absurd billboards
the scenery flies by in perfection"

excellent descriptive lines, you could use these and write a whole piece from them alone. Good work.

[BlueDreams]

A very very great craft :-)

[SabrinaThePoet]

this poem is fire.

[Megan]

F**k the police! haha great write :) I love how romantic this is. Running from the cops with you're soul mate in hand..gosh that's amazing. I think my favorite line it "you laugh at the blue lights in the mirror." Ah! so great..thank you for posting this, I really enjoyed reading it!

[Spookers]

Wow. I loved this. The love of two criminals as they run from the law. That has to certainly be a very tight relationship. Well done

[Droll Prole]

Criminally insane, I like it!