the other side

06/2011 (published in Poets of Blood volume 2)

darkness is traded away for a time

a night full of electricity and animation

a way for the hollows to stir their weariness 

sights and sounds blast into the atmosphere 

                                  

                     lights pulsate across this sea of specters

                     hell bent on the verge of becoming undone

                     stimulation awakens muddled sensations

                     marked up faces brighten upon rapture 

                            

I dance for the relief in the moment

reveling in the exemption of your horror

treacherous scars tell the detrimental tale

losing myself in this crowd of flesh  

                     maybe tonight surrender is in order 

                     letting the weight of vehemence lift  

                     perhaps providence will loosen her

                     grasp on the direction our feet take us                                                           

Author's Note

Reviews

[WatashLegend]

second stanza lose the (s) on "pulsates" it interrupts your flow other than that your flow and imagery is spot on along with the direction of where you led this poem you touched without reaching, you as the writer became a magnet that drew your reader in.

[Megan]

wow now I really want to go to a rave..this was so great and I could picture just a bunch of kids dancing to flashing lights and strobes. Just relishing the moment of being young and having fun, pushing down reality for a little while :) Great job! haha now to find a rave to go to!!

[Neas Nihil]

-I get this liquid semi-erotic vibe from the last two stanzas that I love. It's the imagery that really grabs my attention from those two.

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Really dark and just plain cool. Awesome work!

[Omar Fendri]

'I dance for the relief in the moment' beautifully written ... vast imagination's painted here through an excellent vocabulary and well-chosen words. The last stanza's clearly outstanding and I love how it gave me the complete image that you tried to create in this poem. Perfect.

[Coyote Poetry]

The other side. I try to dance on the other side of life. I saw too much. Took me to places where the world is too alive and dangerous.
"I dance for the relief in the moment
reveling in the exemption of your horror
treacherous scars tell the detrimental tale
loosing myself in this crowd of flesh "
I like the purpose and the will of this poem. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[OT]

I don't think there's too many big words at all - i think your vocabulary was good in this piece and wouldn't consider some of them "big" as in complicated/confusing anyways so well done - nice descriptives too - the light on the sea of spectres was nice! great job! as for message - it is perhaps more of a descriptive poem than a story one to me - but I like more surreal scene-like poems!

[Chelsea]

I love this poem, great write! However, i dont want to be mean but i feel as if you have too many BIG complicated words (if that makes any sense). i just wish it might have been a little more simple to read because i want everyone to understand the message of the poem. but, it is truly a great write!

[*[_Natasha_]*]

i loved this Joshua! Brilliant write

[Lily Mae]

I love it the poem and the video.. well done..xx

[writing mojo]

I can all most smell the sweat and feel glow stick dances on my skin. I like the presented able case of dancing imagery, the lines are a cadence not so many know or possess. This is well thought out to be explained better as interpretive choreography of the paper and pen...amazing stuff