the other side

06/2011 (published in Poets of Blood volume 2)

darkness is traded away for a time

a night full of electricity and animation

a way for the hollows to stir their weariness 

sights and sounds blast into the atmosphere 

                                  

                     lights pulsate across this sea of specters

                     hell bent on the verge of becoming undone

                     stimulation awakens muddled sensations

                     marked up faces brighten upon rapture 

                            

I dance for the relief in the moment

reveling in the exemption of your horror

treacherous scars tell the detrimental tale

losing myself in this crowd of flesh  

                     maybe tonight surrender is in order 

                     letting the weight of vehemence lift  

                     perhaps providence will loosen her

                     grasp on the direction our feet take us                                                           

Author's Note

Reviews

[WatashLegend]

second stanza lose the (s) on "pulsates" it interrupts your flow other than that your flow and imagery is spot on along with the direction of where you led this poem you touched without reaching, you as the writer became a magnet that drew your reader in.

[Aidz]

Enjoyed it... flowed nicely, good form and well kewl :)

[InkSlinger]

The left me in a "trance".. pulsating one every word, my mind danced from one stanza to the next..
Cool write!!

[HeIsWe]

Cool I like it.

[Amila Jay]

Wow, a cool poem, great write:)

[Shep]

Another great poem. Must be one of your best.

[Inyourshadow]

A long time since I experienced these feelings but the memories of awash in a sea of dancing forms is always present, you capture the release of inhabitions perfectly. Here's to never feeling trapped when the music sets you free. Keep em' coming

[patricia]

Favourite line...a way for the hollows to stir their weariness. I can't say much about raves, I'm way past that age, sounds loud ha ha...there is a lot in this poem to think about...you did a good job. Well done...now don't go to anymore...find a nice girl and settle down! ha ha. Thanks.

[Enigma]

Excellent. The poem is throbbing with energy using fitting, descriptive images. Well done.

[Spookers]

Lovely. Raving in clubs is always fun. I think you did a good job on describing how easily you can lose yourself when it comes to dancing in a crowd at clubs.

[Dahlia Phoenix]

This poem is quite...how do I put it...its moving. As soon as I started reading the first stanza, I was like "Wow!"

"lights pulsate across this sea of specters
hell bent on the verge of becoming undone
stimulation awakens muddled sensations
marked up faces brighten upon rapture "

This was my favorite stanza from the whole poem since its adding a flow to what you're trying to say to readers. To let it consume you so it can guide you wherever it needs to be. Just having fun and doing nothing stupid, hearing the booming of music in the background doesn't harm at all.