awake

2006

     the boy awoke as the stars faded forever more

      nothing but spaces dark filled their void 

      no one ran or played in the alleys and parks anymore

      his dreams died as if someone pulled the plug

      day and night now seemed to not hold a significant change

     he no longer yearned for happiness in his heart

      or shivered in cold and rain

      his skin no longer carried a sense of beauty or image

      just a living shell containing his repetitive impulses

      his body did not walk with pride or dignity but dragged along

      a carcass, a host for numb emotions and dark realities 

     the world around him no longer shimmered in color and vibrancy 

      but hung like a gray and dreary blanket over his sleepless eyes

      others bump into him; running in a hurry to live their lies

      paying no attention and not even realizing he was there

      not that it would have mattered for he was elsewhere 

     no longer dazed and confused but shattered from reality

      torn from understanding

       weak from wisdom

          fatigue from fear

           he had awoke to an eternity without her  

Reviews

[Clay Feet]

Beautifully expressed, the pain of losing our deepest love. A reasoning mind would never permit another to have such a powerful effect on it. Love knows no reason, love rends the heart and mends the heart. Life without love is empty.

Excellent work!

[WatashLegend]

The changes that enters the heart and mind after love fails turns loneliness into a person's best friend or worst enemy. It'll eat at you and spit you out only to bring you back for more. Life becomes a fine balance that you just want to fall from and be done with. Great write Josh.

[Amila Jay]

Very touching poem and very effectively expressed:)

[Dahlia Phoenix]

Deeply depressing.

"just a living shell containing his repetitive impulses
his body did not walk with pride or dignity but dragged along
a carcass, a host for numb emotions and dark realities "

That made every concept of this poem foreboding and dark. Feeling that without the other person we have no hope, no necessity to continue on. We are empty shells without the love and care of another that we hold most dear. Dark realities are that assumption and this poem is brilliant!

[Megan]

"his dreams died as if someone pulled the plug" LOVE THAT! It would be really cool if you elaborated on that a bit. You know, do something like., "his dreams lay in the hospital bed/ lifeless except for the life support/ waiting for doc to pull the plug" sorry haha I just got inspired :) amazing piece here. I can't wait to read more, thanks for posting!

[Dark Beauty]

Wonderful,great expression and i liked the choice of words used here! Nice job

[ImagineItAll]

Ahhhhh! "his body did not walk with pride or dignity but dragged along
a carcass, a host for numb emotions and dark realities
the world around him no longer shimmered in color and vibrancy
but hung like a gray and dreary blanket over his sleepless eyes"
From there and on, I was handing on every word! This was darkly beautiful.

[Thea]

Aw, this is heartbreaking... :(((
Anyway, I like the whole structure, how you wrote it and how the whole poem flows from one line to another...Well done... :)))

[Raya Avans]

'no longer dazed and confused but shattered from reality
torn from understanding
weak from wisdom
fatigue from fear'

The imagery of it all was amazing. Deep and dark, but it was still so beautiful. Another amazing piece of true art, well done.

~ rae

[Ally]

This poem reminded me of a song called More Than A Memory by Garth Brooks. I am not a country fan but this song is very relatable to this poem about losing someone that is "more than a memory".
Great poem by the way!

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I could imagine the man through your words, hunched and beaten-looking, just dragging through life. The last line summed it up wonderfully (but I'm not sure that 'awoke' is the right form of the word...it seems to me like 'awakened' makes more sense, but I honestly don't know). Without love, you can easily become nothing more than "a living shell."