{{{behind walls}}}

2009

The gray skies have long turned to glassy black.

Taking with it the light of hope and sociability.

Misanthropy and consolation have led to deep mutilation of my cast.

Cutting this facade to my inner-most recesses has opened up a 

whole meaning to the One that dwells within.

Burning and twisting out of sheer boredom and lack of interest.

I am a vanguard of death, a destroyer of dreams.

There is this cavity instead of conscience or so it seems.

Your elegy is my diversion. 

Your tears are my perversion.

You see retention has led to aberration, told to me in a presage.

I fight this maddness for all that I am worth but phantasm always wins.

Locking me up behind walls, behind walls, behind walls of sadness.

Turning my world into an idea, a shadow of a former life.

What used to be just a metaphor has turned into reality.

My dabbling has backfired transforming me into a delegate of darkness.

Fidelity walks hand in hand with stratagem. 

 I am a living contradiction.

This manifestation of what seethes inside me brings me to the ground over and over again.

This lamentation breathes, trying to claw its way out from behind walls, behind walls, behind walls of sadness. 

My shade has withered. 

The sun is my demise.

Author's Note

Reviews

[ImagineItAll]

I have a few favorite lines in here: 1) "I am a vanguard of death, a destroyer of dreams", 2) "There is this cavity instead of conscience or so it seems", 3) "I am a living contradiction", and 4) "What used to be just a metaphor has turned into reality."

This is a really dark poem, reaching deep within you and turning you inside out for the world to see. My only concern? ...and it's only because my schooling failed me miserably concerning english...I am going to have to re-read this again with a dictionary by my side to learn some of the vocabulary that you used. I don't really mind that at all though. I'm quite used to it.

[Veronica Chandler]

Powerfully foreboding and and a deeply dark read; without the dark we would have no light. The stars must have dark to be distinguishable from the light. I have to say...I had to pull out my dictionary a few times on this piece, which I consider a very good thing; I like this piece. Sorry it took so long to get to this read request...I have been in the dark night of my soul; more fodder for poetry's fire.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Nice write. Interesting write for yourself and life it seems like. I love these lines here:
"Turning my world into an idea, a shadow of a former life.
What used to be just a metaphor has turned into reality."
" I am a living contradiction."

[patricia]

It is interesting how you always write from the opposite view point of the so called 'norm' I wonder what your poems would be like if you were to do a bit of conventional. Still...your fine just the way you are. Talented. Knowledgeable. Honest. Thankyou

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Good write...
I can relate.

[realmwriter]

Just keep writing great poetry and let your work speek for itself. I like what I read. Kinda seems a bit about Twilight to me, course I could be way off the mark.

[Andrea Vargas]

wow

[Margarette]

This is a breathtakingly, dark and unpredictable poem. I like the way you used your metaphors to describe certain situations in the poem. It has a really great depth to which it gives off strong emotions of the poet. Wonderful and great!

[~Sarah~ Idríel T..]

Always love your poems! =)

(forgive me, this one may be a little short, been writing reviews all day)

Back into the black cauldron of death, doom, and destruction I see? :)
An effective talent of yours I seem to find alot is word placement.
It's a technique you're certainly good at, and frequently found within your poems
Imagery choice words here too is very well done I must say.
Although I hate to say, I think you've overused your main source of good poetry a bit. This one doesn't hint of great despair, darkness, and heartbreaking b*****s like the others seem to really shine in.
So maybe try and switch up some topic change just a bit... It helps your mind collect in the subject your good at. Can't run a car that's outta gas, then you're just beating dead horses yo.
Got to let a bucket sit out in the rain before it becomes a gallon of water.
One thing though I do find this poem shines in though compared to others is quotation work.
As ImagineItAll pointed out, there's some hidden gems to find within this piece of work.

Some constructive criticism though: lengthy lines seem to drag at times
A hard thing to master, but no doubt something else you can be good at
Sometimes it takes a good couple of re-reads to catch it.
Also, when proofreading work, turn off the music.
Not everyone is listening to the same things or are even listening to anything at all when they're reading sometimes.
I keep that in mind when I proofread and it usually works quite well for me. It diffuses the beat your hearing in your head and helps you read it straightforward. With things like that, it makes catching errors like dragging lines much easier I find. Just a suggestion though, some things work for some, but not for others.

Overall, 80 I think is a nice rating to put... hope my recommendations help a bit bro.

[Audrey Howitt]

There is a wrenching in this work as you turn yourself inside out. Great word choice through out--so evocative.