the murdering ones

11/2013

So you think it's a game

and you're waiting for me

to come out of this hole

Well the grave is pretty

stable and I'm unable to go

These walls are bleeding wounds

Death too soon

Give or take

that is your debate

but at what cost

Stuck in the trenches

with the murdering ones

What's your tragedy?

I've lived many but this

was the first one

I bought

                          

Reviews

[Muse]

psssssssssst
2nd line:

and your waiting for me "you're" you are.
7th line:

Death to soon "too"

So sorry, it's a pet peeve of mine. My friends know that if I mess up that I want them to point it out. And I want to be a constructive writer and reviewer. Please take no offense. My friends also know that I have OCD....I can be obsessive and nitpick over the silliest things. So you are one of the lucky ones my friend. I put you under the micro-scope and there you have it! lol

First off, I love the title. It got my attention anyways.
So you say this was the first one you bought? What was the price? Your soul?

[joshua deathdealer]

Thanks. I made the changes and I'm glad you came by. You know it!! lol

[Muse]

NICE, now you have perfection! Btw...I forgot to tell you that I suck at grammar. So are you sure you want to make changes based on my advice...and my advice alone? lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow this is like Poe describing how he cannot venture to love again because his first love left him and killed his heart...there are no remnants left alive to feel that emotion ever again.

he bought it the first time, couldn't bring it back, and buried himself with that love joining him in his heart's coffin.

[Heather H.]

some of the words that you used stuck with me, creating an elaborate picture. very well done.

[joshua deathdealer]

Thank you for stopping and taking the time to review.

[Rob Santana]

Interesting piece. I really like the image. It reminds me of AMERICAN HORROR STORY ASYLUM.

[joshua deathdealer]

Thank you. I haven't seen that yet but I heard it's pretty good.

Oh those faces without eyes, or without an expression, fear the hell out of me ;) (that unreachable factor they have without a look anymore), death, rotten and gone, to another aura.... or away,

The suffocating feeling into this one, you bring over so well *claps at you* I felt in prison, and couldn't get out, claustrophobia through my veins.... beautiful my dear... you never cease to amaze me.

- Elisa

[Ruth]

This interested me...the "bought" is intriguing...the fact that the grave is "pretty" too...brought on the self...or not...still a blistering piece hon xx

[joshua deathdealer]

Thank you love! xo

[David Scott]

Life and death in this world is a transition. It has not always been so and it will not always be so in the future. The path to life was meant to be one way and eternal. Now, the universe has seen what happens when this path is deviated from...
Interesting to think that death can be an accident or be stolen, mush like life is thought of and it can be purchased. The cost for either is infinitely immeasurable. What a huge price to pay... It is beyond the accounting of human souls.
Strong and cryptic writing here Josh.

[I Am Svetlana]

Interesting...quite chilling, I must say! I pictured one walking down the hallway (in the picture above) and a person would come out with a clipboard and ask how they would like to die, but they wouldn't be given that and just end up being tortured day by day for the rest of their lives. They go there expecting to die, but given the chance to live again everyday, wishing they were dead. Loved this! Probably my favorite of yours so far :)

[joshua deathdealer]

Thank you. I like how you perceived this one because it was defiantly the direction I was going. Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work.

[I Am Svetlana]

You're welcome! You have very interesting ideas and I like how you twist them into different ones than how you start off with them. Very intriguing and I admire your talent and words.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I like this part:
"Well the grave is pretty
stable and I'm unable to go"
A dark write but it seems to show strength too.

[Pax]

The hauting fear in the voice and the horrors of death are a mark to be seen. You painted a terrifying struggles of once was and once it will be. A dark tale indeed!